Choices – An Xperience Article – by Charla Earney.
Are we the sum of the choices we make? People talk about choice all the time, but usually not in the way that matters. What is it, why do we have it, and what the hell are we supposed to do with it once it shows up at our door like an uninvited Amazon package? The Hebrews seeded the concept. Today, English uses “choice” both as a noun and an adjective. As a noun: the act of choosing. As an adjective: “of very fine quality.” (Ironically, not all choices are choice choices.) In my experience, the struggle with choice is universal. For years now, I have been careful about what I let into my brain. Curating my media diet. I’m deliberate with my choices. I grew up long before our current dopamine drip of screens and scrolling. I realized “my” overwhelm isn’t a personal flaw — it’s too many damn choices! Sometimes I go home just to recover from the peanut butter aisle. If only choice were reduced to routine, what would “I” choose? That’s exactly what I wanted to learn from Mark. When the time came to choose his routine, what did he choose?
I first met Mark Richardson at the Rustic Barn on a warm New York summer night. He introduced himself out on the lanai — the smoking area out back. The first thing I noticed was his approach: he looked me right in the eye, handshake firm but gentle, the kind a teacher gives when he’s about to tell you to “use your inside voice.” He seemed quietly amused by me. I was amused by him. My first impression? “This one’s grounded. A good one.” And I love being right. Over the next few months, I heard him play at open mic nights. He held his guitar like it was an extension of himself. His playing was liquid — the clean strums, the chords; the subtle touches guitarists use to coax emotion out of a single string. It all moved through him from him. When he finally sang, it felt like a reveal. Vocals to back up the playing? Yes, please. I was hooked. What I learned from talking with him was simple: he was recently retired and looking to play music with friends. But, like retired people always discover, life gets busier — who knew? He still had to find venues, coordinate schedules, and navigate the time demands of other musicians who work full-time jobs, have families, and juggle responsibilities like flaming swords. (Shout out to all the state workers moonshading as rock stars.) Mark’s aim was true. Music is always the way. And I will support that!
The Birth of NOTA Band: A Brilliant Solution Disguised as a Joke.
Last month, Mark invited me to Ophelia’s because he’d started something called NOTA Band. I saw the flyer and thought, “Is this a joke? A double negative? A philosophical riddle?” It turns out — kind of. Pulling together a consistent band is hard. Musicians have jobs, families, obligations, and occasionally they’d like to sleep. Mark wanted to play with his friends, but commitment means rehearsals, schedules, and expectations — and nothing kills joy faster than turning it into homework. Mark did what sensible men with physics degrees do:
He solved the problem.
He created NOTA Band, short for “Not A Band.” Philosophy: It is not a band.
Reality: It’s the show you’ve never been to, every time. I am partial to the merry-go-round of various artists who pop by when I go to venues. It’s an open invitation — an “all call” to local musicians and friends:
“Come play!”
If you don’t want to play, come enjoy the people who do. No pressure. No obligation. No “sorry guys, I can’t rehearse Thursday — my kid has soccer.” Just play for the fun of it.
Just joy.
Every night is different. You get firsthand a casual jam session. A new original in real time — which is basically sex for the soul. Pure gems that ended up on my playlist, and I have discovered musicians I would never have found otherwise. The quality of artists who show up is stunning — like band camp, but without the trauma of too many notes crammed into one brain. When a tall, older gentleman walks in with a seasoned sway and lays out a folder of harmonicas that are well-used and well-tended, I got a little excited. I have heard and seen a range of players, from saxophone and flute, to organ and ivory bones that blew me away, and guitar solos that simply healed my soul. These musicians play because they want to. And you feel it. And Mark? He doesn’t just “know his way around the guitar.” This man knows his tunes. Why does NOTA Band Matter?
NOTA Band isn’t a band. It’s a choice — a deliberate one.
A choice to play instead of pressure.
A choice to gather instead of “grind”.
A choice to create community instead of “brand identity.”
A choice to let music simply be music.
In a world drowning in options — from peanut butter to life paths — Mark carved out something rare: a space where the only choice you need to make is whether you want to listen, play, or laugh at the absurdity of it all. And if you’re lucky? You might get to hear him play. And then you’ll understand exactly why this choice matters. Now? I look for NOTA Band and schedule them in whenever I can. I have a good feeling this is just the beginning for Mark and NOTA. I look forward to seeing how this playground grows and develops. I know I am aiming to be there at any step I can. If we are the sum of our choices, then I will choose to follow NOTA. The prediction is, it’s gonna get really good. Buckle up.