Rob Skane – You’re So Vain, You Probably Think This Story’s About You, Don’t You?

Carly Simon, you’re so vain … google it. I mean, no one buys records anymore, so why would you even know who she is? No offense, but she was, is, and will always be more popular than your band. Relax, already – it’s not always about you. Trust me, sometimes we all feel like we’ve been tied to the whipping post. Tore up from the floor up, and tore down almost level to the ground. I get it. Your band can’t get gigs, and it’s a bummer. The thing is, no one owes you anything. Be undeniably good, and the gigs will appear. Easier said than done, as we all know. If you’re not getting work, then maybe, as a band, you need to look within? There’s no shame in trying to get better. The shame is in blaming everyone and everything else for your lack of development. I’ve been there, by the way.

If you’re a band, you’re a band. You all work together, it’s part of it. You grow together by being supportive and encouraging to one another. And once you’ve reached that level of trust and respect for everyone in the combo, then a lot of good things can happen. Sometimes, though, there’s an outlier. I have played music with some very toxic human beings, and I suffered through it because I really wanted to play. But it’s never worth it.

Quite often, it’s the least skilled who are the least dedicated. Yet they always seem to be the most entitled. I suppose it’s just easier to carve people up behind their backs than it is to work on honing your craft. Although you could actually listen to music and dig deep into things. If you play guitar, listen to all the stuff that you enjoy, and when you’re feeling like it, focus on what the guitar player(s) is/are doing. But really focus – critical listening, as they say in the biz. Not listening to criticize, listening to learn. It’s always fun to understand things like how one guitar might follow the vocal or how the timbre of a note can change depending on where it’s played on the neck of your guitar. In the old days, this kind of self-study was called “woodshedding” – practice your instrument, keep your mouth shut, and stay out of the way until you’re competent enough to hold your own. Jazz players used to toss you off the stage if you couldn’t hang. There were no participation trophies; it was survival of the fittest. If you wanted gigs – and who didn’t – you had to earn them.

If we were to listen to the players that move us and then listen to the players that moved them, we could be on to something. Respect the lineage of the music? Great idea! When we’re first getting it together, we kinda copy the players we dig; it’s a great way to learn. Over time, we develop the way we play based on who we’ve listened to and what resonates with us. It’s a fascinating process. It takes time, though. Not to get all Book of Proverbs on you, but … patience is a virtue. For what it’s worth, it feels pretty good when you believe you’ve cracked the code on whether or not The Beatles used a capo on the song “Girl.” See, your ears always have your back, or something like that.

Ten percent of the bands get ninety percent of the gigs, or at least that’s how it seems, right? Maybe it’s because they’re good enough to play them? I think that’s it – that’s the list. So, dear reader, when you get a gig, value it. Be on time, be in tune, be respectful of the venue, the staff, and the people who are there to watch and listen – if anyone shows up. Remember, no one owes you their time or their money – never forget that. And while not everyone wants to hear 11-minute songs about trees, flowers, and dogs, those who do will be in your corner – it just might take time. All we can do is keep trying, right? Stay true to your vision. And when you get work, be ready to fulfill your obligation. Decent footwear is always a plus, too. Because people do look and judge. I mean, I do …