Living Lake Winnipeg – The Weird Side of the Internet

Living Lake Winnipeg – The Weird Side of the Internet – by Liam Sweeny.

What does it mean to be a person? Arthritis? Sure. Acne? Why not. The relentless drive, if you are a male, to slide into the DMs of any woman you find “internet hot?” Well, maybe half a person there. But it’s a wide topic. Biologically speaking, this is all a matter of forty-six chromosomes. But philosophically, conceptually, a person can have a wider definition. And in terms of rights and justice, philosophical concepts matter.

Lake Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. One of the largest lakes in the world. And, by the account of Grand Chief Jerry Daniels of the Manitoba Southern Chiefs’ Organization, dying. There’s a hydroelectric operation going on that’s giving Lake Winnipeg a perpetual migraine, and with it E. Coli, invasive species, and nasty algae blooms. In abject desperation, the Chiefs are petitioning the Manitoba courts to grant Lake Winnipeg “personhood” so that it will be given the same rights as any of us.

That may sound ridiculous, but in the U.S., corporations are given the status of personhood. What kinds of “people” they are is questionable, but corporations have rights that they have fought for.

Corporations have not yet fought for the right to party.

Could Lake Winnipeg gain personhood? Maybe. But what would be expected of it? If somebody drowns in it, do they put an iron fence around it and call it an inmate? If it floods and wrecks someone’s house, how does it pay a fine? It seems to me that people are expected to be accountable for what they do, unless they’re politicians or billionaires. Could Lake Winnipeg run for governor of Manitoba?

Does Canada even have governors?

If down for Lake Winnipeg to become a person because I have no idea where it is so I don’t have a dog in the race anyway. But if a lake can be declared a person, can my guitar be declared a person and press charges on me for assault?

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