Reza Baluchi – The Man Who Runs on Water

Every now and then a spectacle comes along that threatens to reveal a deep philosophical truth. That isn’t what I’m about to tell you. Instead, I’ll tell you about a man originally from Iran, now living in Florida (yes, this is a Florida man story) named Reza Baluchi. Baluchi wanted to run across the pond. “The Pond.” As in, Florida to London. He overcame the setback of not being Jesus by building… a hamster wheel. A harness of paddles, wires and buoys that Baluchi could use for locomotion, a human-powered paddle-boat wheel. Sadly, he has not reached the finish line, as every time he’s tried, he’s gotten turned around by the United States Coast Guard, such as in 2014, 2016 and 2021, with an explosive confrontation at least once.

Reza Bulachi is a runner, not a refugee. He’s 44, and, having run through that point on the timeline, I get it. I recently met a guy named Dallas Trobley who set sail from Albany to Manhattan on at least a version of what Baluchi has. It’s an accomplishment, a way to achieve immortality. If Baluchi had managed to succeed, he would always be the guy who ran across the Atlantic. If you’re reading this and you’ve seen your forties, or maybe still wading through them, you get this. And if you’re 21, you probably still get this. You gotta make something out of yourself. Mark the hydrant that you been sniffing around your whole left. Reza Bauchi wanted to run across the ocean. I cant imagine running however many thousand miles; oh wait, 4,300 yards. 164 marathons of running. What the hell was Baluchi gonna eat? It might take him six months to finish, even if he ran a marathon a day.

So maybe Reza Baluchi is a portrait of stupidity, or maybe he wanted to go out on his own terms. If the Coast Guard could know that Baluchi wasn’t too dumb to breathe, should they have let him go? Could a person choose to die in the pursuit of an unobtainable goal? There’s a phrase, “helicopter parent.” Hovering over their charges so much said charges can’t enjoy the world. At what point can the world itself not be a helicopter parent?

If Baluchi wants to Moby Dick his way into the sunrise, let him.

Curated by Liam Sweeny.