Seventeen Sets of Twins Welcomed in Colonial School District

Written by on December 10, 2023

Seventeen Sets of Twins Welcomed in Colonial School District – by Liam Sweeny.

Colonial School district will be welcoming seventeen sets of twins between its three schools. There’s something in the water. Gotta be something in the water. Or is it more than that?

The article I’m reading is all “Yay! Isn’t that neat!” I detect a failure of imagination. There are so many possibilities here.

Have they considered a top secret underground project? Make twins and study them growing up in suburban Philly? That question was not even asked. Or maybe some cosmic prisms intersect right at Conshohoken and Plymouth township?

This is just so cool, the idea that one spot grows twins.

I feel bad for this town. Thirty-four twins can play all kinds of havoc, it would be a regular “Who’s on First” game every day.

Cool thing is not too many people are going to have to sit alone at the lunch table. I have to wonder how much nicer (or nastier) their high school is going to be?

I am still so damn fascinated by the fact that 17 sets of twins can be born in just a couple of townships.

Pictures are going to be useless when the DMV starts handing out licenses. Cops aren’t going to know who exactly they’re pulling over.

All jokes aside, this is a pretty cool think. Assuming it wasn’t a super secret government op, there’s something natural here about getting twins. IVF researchers could study this town and learn something about fertility. Maybe? Maybe they can only learn something about landing the double-shot. But hey, the more you know.

I hope there’s not a high profile murder in this town’s future. They could probably go ten seasons with it.

I don’t have kids, but I would love to have twins. I would teach them to go to school and get good grades. One of them. The other I would teach to forge report cards. Build a family drama from the ground up.

 

 

More from Liam Sweeny…


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