7-Eleven Fun – The Weird Side of the Internet

Written by on October 21, 2024

7-Eleven Fun – The Weird Side of the Internet – by Liam Sweeny.

We’re not sponsored by 7-Eleven. I wish we were. For a quickie gas station-convenience store, 7-Eleven’s got it. Our incarnation of 7-Eleven in Speedway, but same diff. But 7-Eleven is know for pretty cool promo ideas.

Green Day was celebrating the thirtieth anniversary of their album “Dookie.” 7-Eleven was celebrating their 60th anniversary of putting fresh-brewed coffee in to-go cups (has it been that long?) So they teamed up, and at one New York store, on August 28th, the first 50 fans to show up and got a semi-permanent custom tattoo got 711 days of free coffee. If that isn’t a reason to get some ink, I don’t know what is.

So I have to wonder what is ‘semi-permanent?’ Does the tattoo wash off but come back in times of stress, like herpes? Can you make it reappear with a ritual involving yew and hemlock?

Oh, this is even wilder. They gave a baby a gift of $7,111. The baby was born on July 11th, 2019 at 7:11pm. It weighed 7 lbs, 11 ounces. This is the foretold ruler of gas stations and pope of convenience stores, destined to unite them all.

Oh, and their chicken wings are too good to be from a convenience store, just saying.

People don’t think much od 7-Elevens, or any gas station/convenience stores, for that matter, but we have to question why not? We value the supermarket, think highly of the pharmacy, but look down on the very place we go that gets us to the grocery store and pharmacy? With all those unhealthy snacks and those behind-the-counter vices, are they not paramours that will do what our spouses won’t?

I’m considering buying a 7-11 hat with a white pom on it. Just for winter. I already bought a Slurpee truckers cap. I’ll represent 7-Eleven, I don’t give a crap. People represent sports teams they’ll never see – I can go get gas at Speedway tomorrow.

 

 

More from Liam Sweeny…


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