Ultimate Petty – The Weird Side of the Internet

Ultimate Petty – The Weird Side of the Internet – by Liam Sweeny.

There should be a second Guinness Book of World Records, like an alternate book, the “Dark Guinness” book. Like the most crack sold in a single house in a single day, or the person with the most VDs at once. The most necessary product recall, the biggest fraud vitamin supplement. There should be a whole section on “dick moves,” and a special insert for dick moves by dick bosses. And in this bizarro book, right in the center, would be A OK Walker, of Fayetville, Georgia. He gave a departing employee his final pay, which you might think was a good thing, but it’s how he gave it; in pennies, coated in oil. 90,000 pennies to cover $900. Clearly thre were problems, and it would be fair to say there were both sides, but I would surmise that if one of those “sides” had the pettiness, and the time, to soak 90,000 pennies in oil, that side is showing overwhelming dickish tendencies.

How long would it take to prepare this payment? Does any one bank have 90,000 pennies? So he probably had to go to every bank in the city. Then to soak them all in oil ad dump them in the guy’s driveway. I guess he got his payback, because Andreas Flaten, the employee, has to spend every night cleaning pennies.

The autobody shop has been described as a hostile work environment, and when asked about the manner, the proprietor said, “I don’t really remember. It doesn’t matter; he got paid, that’s all that matters. He’s a fucking weenie for even bringing it up.”

It occurs to me that if the proprietor here spent as much on improving his business instead of getting back at the people who show him where he’s lacking, he would probably have the best shop in town. Either way, if I’m ever driving down to Georgia and I find myself broken down in Fayetteville, I hope I have enough oil soaked pennies.

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