400 Batteries – The Weird Side of the Internet

400 Batteries – The Weird Side of the Internet – by Liam Sweeny,.

I’m lazy as hell. I’ll admit it. The one cool thing about lazy people is that we’re the ones that are going to find the quickest and easiest way to do something. We’ll find it, and find it easily quick; the Hot Pocket’s turning into pocket. When I’m trying to figure out what story to bring to your attention, I’m like Goldilocks: how much BS do I have to stack on top of this innocent dewey-eyed junk news story to help you all avoid eye contact while you’re waiting for the bus with it being too much?

Some stories don’t come close. You can’t stretch a moose on the loose. It produceth few jokes. You can squeeze out three Bullwinkle jokes maybe, and then you’re just trying to find funny ways to complain about your kids.

Some stories you know you can’t tell to someone who’s only killing ten minutes time because you’d only get to their name. But you find the sweet ones.

Drake Anthony. He’s an eccentric science maniac, his words, who is equally passionate about pushing the limits of the common world. One day, he decided to see what 400 car batteries could do if you wired them together.

So here it is. The very feather of Maat lands between two equal truths, that this story could go either way. Cast your lots.

400 car batteries. A thousand pounds of copper to make a switch that can withstand 160,000 amp. This amperage vaporizes metal. Which is what he did; he melted a pipe.

I’m a science maniac too. So I carefully measured the batteries. They’re a hundred fifty each, grand total sixty-five thousand. Another four thousand for the copper. Sixty-nine K. So his experiment was to melt a pipie and invent the most expensive way to get someone to say ‘niiice…’

You win, Mr. Anthony. Come get your Klondike bar.

 

 

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