Stay Sassy – Chapter One

Stay Sassy – by Sassy Auburn.

Dear Diary,

I had an appointment with one of my drs today. Not like I have enough shit to do, but now she wants me to start journaling. In high school I called that scribbling song lyrics on the desk. She thinks it will help with my “focus and expressing my feelings.” Oh boy, here we go. I’ve always had an interest in writing so maybe this will be good for me? I don’t know. Sounds like a crock of shit but I said I would try it occasionally.

Went to see my wrist surgeon yesterday. After shattering them both in March, going to occupational therapy 1-2x a week, and now being approved for a crank device that will be used to stretch my muscles and tendons “gently”, my doctor says I’m doing very good. I guess I am. Seeing how many pieces of bone that were floating around after the fall, I’m surprised how they are coming together in a healed state. I still wouldn’t wish this injury on my worst enemy. And I really have to restrain myself from choking a bitch most days. The only thing that’s hurt worse than breaking them was the IV they had to put in my ankle for the surgical repair. The anesthesiologist said I need to be considerate of other patients there. Ha! Go give them an ankle IV and see what things they call your mother.

Dinner tonight will be grilled shrimp, spiced Alfredo sauce and linguini. I’m cooking. I’m actually looking forward to cooking since the prescription that I toked—I mean took—is kicking in. Just looking around from the couch I could always bypass the linguine and just have chips & salsa, KitKats, horseradish cheese and a Mountain Dew. Don’t tempt me. I’m tired.

Football is on tonight. My favorite team isn’t playing but it should be a good game. I’ll probably be asleep before the 4^th quarter. Shit, I’m becoming my mother. I’m sure many journal entries from here on out will   explain why that statement scares the hell out of me.

That’s it for now. I think this journal thing went okay. Let me say most days aren’t like The Brady Bunch. You lucked out on this one. I don’t know what it’s going to do for me, but I guarantee if anyone reads this, they probably won’t care too much. Or they may be bored. Or maybe they will be entertained so much they will fart “Bohemian Rhapsody” in the key of C. Good times. Yup, good times.

So till next time…. stay sassy.

More from Sassy.