2 Million Dimes
Written by Staff on October 25, 2023
2 Million Dimes – by Liam Sweeny.
We in America use the English System for measurements. As opposed to damn near the rest of the world, who has gone metric. It doesn’t make much sense using the metric systems with its ten millimeters to a centimeter and its ten centimeters to a decimeter and its ten decimeters to a meter. What’s with all the tens, right? It’s almost like it’s trying to make sense. Not like us, with our creativity in assigning twelve inches to a foot, and five-thousand, two hundred and eighty feet to a mile. Because our system is so screwed up, we can just measure with anything. A two-alligator deep sinkhole? Sure. It weighs three chocolate eclairs? Awesome.
What about 2 million dimes? What does that measure? It measures a heist.
The U.S. Mint in Philadelphia was sending dimes to Miami, because of the new ten cent ice cream cones that just got added to the Karl’s Sweet Shop menu. Whatever; they needed dimes in Miami. And the truck driver pulled over somewhere in or near Philly to sleep. And this driver slept like the damn dead, because four upstanding gentleman used bolt cutters to pop the back and offload a little over 2 million dimes. For those keeping score, that’s about $234,500 worth of coin. And in the true nature of English measurement, the original shipment of $750,000 came in at six tons.
They cashed the coins in at a number of coin machines and a few Philly banks. Like how does that not look suspicious? Show up a CoinStar with a Santa sack you have to put in a cart cause it’s too heavy to lift? How man dime rolls do you need for 2 million dimes? The answer is forty-thousand. I would hate to be the guy in line behind that kind of transaction.
Yes, they got caught. Of course they did. And in partial restitution, they had to give the driver a lifetime supply of coffee.
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