What Not to Donate to Goodwill

Written by on November 1, 2023

What Not to Donate to Goodwill – Story by Liam Sweeny.

You can find a lot of cool stuff at a thrift store. In fact, in the Broke Fellas Guide to the Galaxy, you can find everything you need to furnish and accessorize your house cheaper then one armrest at your standard furniture store (do they even sell single armrests?) And of course, you can find a towel there too. Shoes? Yup. Nifty bric a brac? Yes indeed. A half-functioning room ionizer? Of course!

Cluster bombs and live ammunition? Depends on where you go.

It’s Janesville, the most hoppingest city 76 miles southwest of Milwaukee. Probably the only city at that location. And Goodwill is there, trading in hopes and memories and size 56 pants. And during inventory one Friday morning, do you know what they found? That’s right, a cluster bomblet and live ammunition.

The bomb squad cleared the area and did what they do best. But did they pay for the stuff? I mean c’mon guys, it couldn’t have been marked with a green tag for more than five dollars for the set. Goodwill is a business as well as a charity, right?

The Janesville Goodwill was open for business that afternoon, so cleanup was pretty quick. But of course, the question must be asked; who the hell left that there? I do not, I repeat, DO NOT want to believe that someone was out to get Goodwill. Not because that would be horrible, which it would be, but because it is so much more entertaining to thing that there’s someone out there who had one too many cluster bomblets and an extra box of ammo they could part with and just didn’t know the rules.’Janesville is hella far from Milwaukee – how rural is it? I imagine some places in this country have yahoos pitching cluster bomblets through the woods to scare the deer out of hiding. Hey Janesville Goodwill, did they donate doe piss too? The doe piss could prove to be the smoking gun – or unexploded ordnance here.


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