Barnardos – Careful What You Donate – Thrift Stores

Written by on November 6, 2023

Barnardos – Careful What You Donate – Thrift Stores. Story by Liam Sweeny.

In the land of Swansea, the province (maybe) of Gorseinon, there once lives a thrift store named Barnado’s. It was very much like any good thrift store, accepting donations and selling them for a deep discount to struggling families throughout the land. All along their walls were shelves of bric-a-brac and gently used curiosities. And if you’re brave, you go all the way to the back of the store, through racks of summer- or winter sartorial delights, and you reach the black door capped by a long neon tube – the “adult” section.

There’s no adult section, truly. Creative license spurned on by the well-meaning acts of one or more donators, in particular, passing on gifts of love. Or of lust; their sex toys.

Yeah, so long of the quick is that Barnado’s found some adult toys in the donation box one morning. Maybe more than one morning. You figure a one-time shot might merit some giggles, but not a full-blown press release. But that’s exactly what Barnado’s did, urging the good citizens of Swansea not to donate anything that once gave them too good a time.

I really think this wasn’t a one-off. It’s embarrassing for a thrift store to have to beg people to keep the good vibes at home. I mean, really embarrassing. I’m halfway across the world and if I hear “Barnado’s” now, I’m going to think about people donating sex toys. So the idea I’m thinking is that it had to be such a problem that it had to be said.

They have younger volunteers too, so there’s that. A million awkward questions aimed at parents. Kids playing with dildoes like they’re Stretch Armstrong. Whole can of worms, that.

So maybe we should take a hard look at anyone who would donate a sex swing to a thrift store. If you don’t want it, throw it out. Truly, no amount of disinfecting is going to cleanse a buyer of the notion that the toy in question wasn’t surrounded by bathrobes and lotion at some point.

Moral of the story; keep your amorous offerings to the classifieds.


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