Florida Man Games

Written by on November 10, 2023

Florida Man Games – by Liam Sweeny.

I scour the internet, even go to the weird places you don’t know about, to find you only the weirdest of happenings. And it ain’t easy. I can make a story out of anything; comes with being a writer. But once, nay one and even again, a story comes along that is of such a magnificent quality that I want to just give up literary aplomb and just give it to you straight.

The Florida Man Games is just such a story.

We all know and love Florida Man’s hijinks on the national fluff news scene. But founder and swell guy Pete Melfi has gathered up every fun stereotype, and even a few true local flavors and is organizing the first ever Florida Man Games.

I’m getting there.

The teams will be three to five people, the deadline for entry is November 15th, and the competition itself will be in February of next year.

Okay, okay, so the events. How about catalytic converters, copper pipes and a race against time? Right? How about evading arrest, with real cops participating? Riding a mechanical alligator? Beer belly sumo, weaponized pool noodle mud competitions, and many, many more. And get this: Dan “Nitro” Clark and Lori “Ice” Fetrick of “American Gladiators” will be judges!

It’s great to see people who aren’t afraid to make fun of themselves.

I’m as, of this writing, not sure exactly where it’s going to be, aside from St. John’s County, but if you book a flight there in early February, I’m positive that a waitress at some greasy spoon can tell you exactly where it is, and may even sell you a ticket if you tip her good enough.

Of course, this is all in good fun. But maybe New York could do one. Rats racing with slices of pizza, Timberlands wear competitions, bacon egg and cheese cook offs, Olympic-class insults, who knows. Let’s make it happen.


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