Puff, Puff… Parents? – Stay Sassy – Chapter Six

Puff, Puff… Parents? – Stay Sassy – Chapter Five – by Sassy Auburn.

Sometimes the tasks involved to see the family during the holidays can result in extensive therapy for several weeks.  My partner and I went to visit his parents which is 4 hours from our place. To be direct, visits usually don’t go well. When we got to within a mile of his “home”, we decided (I lied, it was all me) to stop at the local 7-11 for a six pack of PBRs and partake in some Lavender ganja. Anxiety was high and my doctor says it’s better than a Xanax. When we were in a good head place, we headed off to see the ‘rents. Windows down, of course.

The scene that followed was kind of a fog. In fact everything was a fog. It was like a scene from an 80’s stoner movie. His parents came out to greet us and when we opened the car doors to say our hellos, the smoke rolled out like a tsunami . Looked like a London fog had rolled over the driveway. We practically fell out of the car just as the giggles hit. Hard! The more we tried to straighten up and be serious, the worse it got. The 7-11 stop hit harder than we expected. The conversation sounded like a 45 record on 33 in my floating head. Mom and dad were not happy. My BF is the black sheep of the family, and they probably thought I am now Ms. Stoner Black Sheep? Ah fuck, I’ll own it. You know, if Fast Times at Ridgemont High could have a 2023 moment, that was it. Classic.

I made it through the holiday just fine, thanks to the occasional “Honey? Want to take a short walk?” I’m sure this won’t be the last time I’ll need to take a jaunt while visiting. But the experience WAS hysterical and did help me chill. BF’s mom and dad adapted to a point. “It’s natural!” I exclaimed (probably too loudly.) “It’s fine! God made dirt, dirt don’t hurt.” I felt it was a good statement but the already annoyed Christians parents weren’t as jovial with my sister’s sense of humor as I had hoped for. So be it. It is what it is. I am who I am. Let’s just say that the clown car filled with smoke and debauchery made this holiday one for the memory album. So smoke ‘em if you got ‘em… and stay sassy!

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