Turkey Dump and the Most Popular Time to Dump Someone
Written by Staff on December 8, 2023
Turkey Dump and the Most Popular Time to Dump Someone – by Liam Sweeny.
It sucks to get dumped. I haven’t been dumped in a while, but that goes with not having a girlfriend in a while, one of the few benefits besides being able to sleep in your bed with all of the covers. But yes, it sucks to get dumped. What can make that worse? When you get dumped. We are in the season of dumping, and according to an exhaustive study of social media content, the most popular day to dump somebody is… December 11th. It’s just what they found. There’s no solar alignment that day, no special winter pollen that, instead f making you sneeze, makes you yearn to be free. Best explanation for it is that December 11th is two weeks before Christmas.
Another popular time to dump or get dumped is Thanksgiving, which makes more sense, as high school sweethearts are coming back to the dinner table from college, first time seeing each other after some time away, and lonely hearts drift, and they drift farther on campus. They call that one the “Turkey Dump.”
But this brings up a sticky question: do you still have to by them a gift for Christmas on December 11th? All rules of etiquette say yes. The cut-off for Christmas gifts is December 6th. No idea why that particular date, but someone on the internet said it, so it must be true.
I would’ve thought Valentine’s Day, or a couple of weeks before that. I’ve never been dumped on Christmas; last time I got dumped, it was probably in the summer at a McDonald’s while we were out on a date. (Don’t ever take your date to a McDonalds – you’ll get dumped like the fries on the tray. Ahh, youth.)
If you’re going to dump someone near Christmas, and you have to still get them a gift, be careful. A lot of gifts can do damage when they’re thrown at you. And if you’re going to do the “Turkey Dump,” at least let them eat first. Maybe give them the leg.