Raina Huang – Eat Well and Fast

Raina Huang – Eat Well and Fast – by Liam Sweeny.

I am a large man. So large that I’d rather not share pounds, but with inches I clock in at 6 foot 8. So picture a six-foot, eight-inch rolling snowman. And everywhere I go, people look at me and they’re like, “were you on the football team in high school? The basketball team? Wrestling?

None of them ever asked if I was on the competitive eating team, which I guess is good because my high school didn’t have one. But I have to question whether Raina Huang’s California school had one, or if that was a missed opportunity.

Yes, Raina Huang is a competitive eater. She can eat, and she can eat fast. And 4.3 million people on TikTok and YouTube delight in watching her eat fast.

So what are we talking here? How about seventeen pounds of steak in 70 minutes? Or a hundred dumplings in 10 minutes?

That’s just the beginning of what Huang can do. But I have to say, I think I can keep up with her. A hundred dumplings – how big are those? Big as a jawbreaker, but much softer? ‘Cause you’re eating a dumpling in 6 seconds. That’s my grazing pace when I’m not out to dinner with anybody. The seventeen-pound steak might be harder. But I’ll just look at my bottle of A1 and say, “buddy, we’ve been called by God,” and go for the glory.

I’m truly making fun here, because I just had a little bad eggnog the other day and I found out exactly the girth and elasticity of my belly. But it is in my omnivore nature to shoot for the mashed potatoes and hit the porterhouse.

Raina Huang said that she got coached into eating fast by being a gamer. She would eat fast so that she could go back to her game. She might have me beat there. So I need some nerve-wracking thing I’m eating fast for.

Maybe I should take 100 dumplings to the line at the DMV.

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