The Brazilian Alien

The Brazilian Alien – by Liam Sweeny.

Okay, so when I heard about ten foot aliens from Art and Rob, mostly Rob, I was intrigued, but not enthralled. I’m one of those people that thinks that if ten foot aliens were roaming the earth, they might see us as something they can care for like a methhead cares for the underside of your car (year, catalytic convertors. Parts) Because the human body, by weight, is about a dollar of chemicals, but who knows what it goes for on the extraterrestrial market.

So when I checked out the 10 foot tall aliens in Miami, I’m still not convinced. Art and Rob are still telling me it might be true, the alien thing, but my own research said it was a trick of the light from two cops walking by a car.

So I was ready to put it back in the ship, when lo and behold, another ten foot alien story, this time in Brazil. A ten-foot tall figure was seen walking through the hills of the island of Ilha do Mel. It was photographed and everything. But, unfortunately, just like Miami, it had a rather ordinary explanation. But a hilarious one.

The ten-foot alien was in fact Italian basketball star Felipe Motta. He was going for a walk in the woods, and they saw him from a distance, and well, you know…

Worst part is, he’s 6’5” tall, not ten-foot. It’s the worst part because yours truly is 6’8” tall, and I’ve never been mistaken for an alien (or a Sasquatch, for that matter.) I don’t know whether to be sad at that or marvel in my comportment that, even from a distance, I still look human.

So yeah, the Brazilian ten-foot alien is also a bunk, but make sure the next time you spot a ten-foot alien, make sure they don’t have a contract with a national sports franchise.

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