Parisian Waiters Are Intense – The Weird Side of the Internet

Written by on April 2, 2024

Parisian Waiters Are Intense – The Weird Side of the Internet – by Liam Sweeny.

Have you ever seen a busy waiter? Yeah, they may not sprint to your table because your steak’s a tad undercooked. They’ll get there, but you might have to hang in there. Don’t worry, they’re going to be heating up your steak, and you do know charcoal is bad for you, right? Besides, you might not be their table.

But Paris, man. Gosh-darned Paris. Waiting tables is an artform. Parisian waiters have been waiting tables since the Parisian coffee houses of the 17th century. That’s a very proud, time honored tradition.

Did you know it is also a sport? On one day, it is.

It’s called “Course des Cafes.” Waiters gather in front of Paris’s City Hall, and are equipped with a tray, which itself is equipped with an empty coffee cup, a full glass of water, and croissant. From there, each waiter has to carry the loaded tray 1.2 miles with one hand, and they can’t spill the water, and they can’t drop the croissant (or eat it) and same goes with the coffee cup. And yes, there are judges at the end with a keen eye for spillage.

The winner this year did it in 13 minutes, 30 second. They had stopped doing it for a while for budgetary reasons, but with the Olympics coming to Paris, they must have figured the city needed to get ready in any way possible.

I think we should have this in America. But I think we can do better. It should be less a race, and more an obstacle course. Every server should get their own personal Karen, who walks with them asking for ridiculous shit and demanding to speak the manager. Lousy tipper could toss quarters at their tray, and if they get one in the glass, you lose. And bratty kids are running around the course just screaming.

Moral of the story is that if you are a server, you have a proud, 400-year tradition. So be very proud.



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