The Conspiracy Behind the Eclipse – The Weird Side of the Internet

The Conspiracy Behind the Eclipse – The Weird Side of the Internet – by Liam Sweeny.

This is a story about a conspiracy. The mainstream media and most government officials in July received a memo from NASA stating that they need to power down if they were in the path of totality at the moment totality passes over, because NASA will be launching devices over the course of the eclipse’s path that will be emit an electromagnetic pulse that will fry any electronics that are operating during totality. This is why the government is preparing for an emergency. The official story is that tourists will be all over strange roads creating highway havoc. Which sound plausible. So that’s why they went with it.

Look up Gerald Nancy. We blew the whistle in a small article in the Detroit News. The online one. And you can’t find it now because they got a letter – one of “those” type of letters. No one has seen Gerald Nancy since then, and the internet no longer has a trace of him.

But here’s the craziest part; I just made all of this up. I’m making it up as I go along. And some of you, hopefully only a few, were about to turn all your stuff off.

Nothing is going to happen to your electronics. That’s not how eclipses work. If you’ve ever read up on them (not on Alex Jones) you know that the biggest problem with eclipses happens when you look at them dead ass. And people are going to be all over the roads today, people who don’t know where the hell they are going and are going to need a ride back because they burnt their eyes looking at it.

So you find a couple of news pieces. They sound like they could be related, so you make it that way, filling in the gaps with anything that’s going to entice your readers. Then you say that anyone who disagrees, no matter who they are, works for the Illuminati or something, so they’re lying. And you say the proof is going because they covered it up. So if into conspiracies, you can just make it up, and nobody can prove you wrong in the eyes of people who want to believe it.

Why am I saying this? I’m not saying that conspiracies don’t exist. I’m saying that so many people make a conspiracy out of everything that the actual, important conspiracies get lost in the white noise. Also, I just watched a woman pick up a pallet of water from a local Price Chopper. Not even a big Price Chopper.

Save your money. If the water goes out, drink from the Hudson River. They don’t want you to because that polluted-ass water actually gives you super powers.

I’ll see my way out.

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