God Save the Coin Flip – The Weird Side of the Internet
Written by Staff on July 3, 2024
God Save the Coin Flip – The Weird Side of the Internet – by Liam Sweeny.
It appears God has participated in politics. No, not like that; God is a registered independent. But in the 8th House District of Oregon, covering Eugene, He was called upon to pick the winner of two write-in candidates who got seven votes each. He, of course, worked his holy magic through a coin flip. But in an absolute brazen mercurial display, the winner he picked wasn’t eligible. Bible scholars are right now trying to understand the punchline of God’s joke.
Here it is. The 8th District of the Oregon House is heavily, heavily Democratic. And whenever one party is overwhelmingly going to win the race, the other party has a decision to make: run someone they know won’t win and waste money, or just don’t run anybody and hand the seat to the other party. The Democrats do this too in heavily Republican districts, it’s just a strategy, “big picture” kind of thing. Same the money for the battleground states.
So the Republicans didn’t run anybody, which made it go to write-ins, of which there were a hundred and three. But two got more that, well, their own vote. Both of them were Democrats. Lisa Fragala and fellow Democrat Doyle Canning, both previous rivals for the nomination. There really must be no Republicans in the district. Each of them got seven votes.
Seven votes. If I was a party person, I could throw a kegger the night before the primary election and snag twenty votes easy. Just sain’
So they were tied, and It came to “lots” which means roll a dice or flip a coin. And ask God. So God gave the flip to Canning, but the irony is that, because she lost the Democratic nomination, she was subject to a “sore loser” law and was ineligible from winning the Republican primary.
What does this all mean? It means if you’re a party person , at least phone it in. Throw a kegger, and the last person to throw up is the nominee. Sell spaghetti for campaign funding, and drinking longevity.
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