Heist! – The Weird Side of the Internet

Heist! – The Weird Side of the Internet – by Liam Sweeny.

We all love a heist, don’t we? I mean, true, most of us are law-abiding citizens, it’s still a bit exhilarating to watch someone clever enough to steal from the rich and give to, well, themselves, but also to the liquor stores, brothels and Mustang dealerships (I don’t really know the favorite cars bought by high-end thieves.)

But just walking into  bank with a mask and a gun isn’t good enough; anyone can do that. We want real heisting, the kind that requires planning, coordination, months to carry out. We want to hear about “the heist of the century.”

So the actual “heist of the century” involved a bank in San Isidro, Argentina in 2006. And if not for a metal rod, the second heist of the century would’ve been at the same bank.

A 220-foot tunnel from a nearby warehouse to the bank door. Right up to the door. Wooden bracing, lights, ventilation – we’re talking earth-mover equipment. San Isidro police said that it was a better tunnel than the one El Chapo Guzman used to escape prison in 2016.

What about that metal rod? They had drilled up through the road surface, likely to see where they were in relation to the bank, and a car happened to be parked atop the drill spot. The driver heard the rod scraping the undercarriage of his car and notified authorities.

Why would anyone go through all that trouble? Thrill of the heist? Maybe. But in the original crime, also using a tunnel, the takeaway was $19 million. So maybe it’s worth the cost of a mini excavator.

I can’t stop thinking of how cool it would be if the Ocean’s 11,12, and so-ons crew just got caught over something stupid. That would be a hell of a strange news story, right? But I guess all we get is the Argentinian tunnel thieves. They probably couldn’t get those Oceans actors to spend any real time in the dirt like that anyway. I mean, they have contracts and all.

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