Fashizzney Plus Dirty Deed – The Weird Side of the Internet

Fashizzney Plus’s Dirty Deed – The Weird Side of the Internet – by Liam Sweeny.

I just signed up for, let’s say, FaShizzney+. Of course it took a while getting through the Terms of Service, most of that time spent hiring a contract lawyer to read it and tell me all of the restrictive and awful things I can’t negotiate or do anything about if I want that free trial. So my trial to Fashizzney+ cost me around a thousand dollars up front, a little over twenty a month after the trial ends. C’est la vie, right?

Jeffrey Piccolo should’ve gotten the “lawyer package.” So he signed up for a free 7-day trial on his, let’s say, Plustation. And, unlike me, he just checked the box on the bottom of the scroll bar that meant he accepted the ToS. And all would be good, but he wanted to take advantage of more Fashizzney aside from the “+.” See, Fashizzney has a resort, one that caters to the world and, apparently not so completely, the community of allergy sufferers.

When his wife ate at one of the resort’s restaurants and asked multiple times for nothing near nuts and dairy, she got the best of Fashizzney’s service; nuts and dairy. And soon after she died of anaphylaxis. And Jeffery Piccolo, grieved husband, wanted to sue Fashizzney for wrongful death, to a sum of $50,000.

Now here’s the kicker: Fashizzney said that, in the terms and conditions of the Fashizzney+ trial, it said that you can’t sue Fashizzney over any company thing; it goes to arbitration. So Jeffrey Piccolo signs up for a trial of the streaming service, and now he can’t sue the resort.

Micki Moose must be fishing for some serious bait and switch. I mean really, how many people really know what’s in a one-hundred page document that you might be looking at on your phone.

Fashizzney princesses must be required to give 50% of what they own as a dowry if they fall in love at Fashizzneyland.

That’s all I got. Gotta get their and mow the lawn of the CEO of NitFrix because I watched two many episodes of The Walking Dead. Couldn’t afford a lawyer on that one.

More from Liam Sweeny…