Hans Gruber and the Die Hards – An Xperience Interview

Hans Gruber and the Die Hards – An Xperience Interview – by Rob Smittix.

RRX: Hey, alright. So we are on a speaker phone with Hans Gruber and the Die Hards from their tour van. Who do I got on the line here?

KA: A little bit of everybody. We have Kurt Armstrong (vocals, trombone), we have …

RA: Rosey Armstrong (tenor saxophone, vocals) …

CT: Chris Thompson (drums) here.

Mike: Mike! (guitar)

KA: And then we got our driver who’s not gonna respond.

RRX: Got you. Just so you know, you are one of my most favorite live bands to see. You’re once again on the road, you’re in the van and you’re on your way to Memphis.

RA: Yup!

RRX: You guys always seem to be touring. I was so happy that, before my band stopped really doing things, we actually had a chance to play a show with you. I think it was back in 2019. It was right before the pandemic hit.

RA: Yes, I think it was that fall tour of 2019.

RRX: You guys played, I think right before us, and then we’re like, “Holy sh**. How are we supposed to follow that?” Because you guys put on a hell of a show.

CT: We were just propping you up, we wanted you to get crazy!

RRX: Oh yeah, I mean, I think we did pretty good, but you guys, hands down, crushed that night. When you played in Troy, I was talking to Onion from Escape from the Zoo, and he said the same thing. He’s like, what a tough act to follow. So how do you guys respond to that?

KA: Well, we love doing that to bands all over because there’s nothing better than watching a band realize that they got to step up. We have the advantage, and we’ve got a tour with a lot of friends, and play a lot of shows with bands that we respect, and there’s nothing greater than seeing them sweat a little bit and then show up and bring it up. One of my favorite times was when we played right before Tsunami Bomb at a festival. We had never met them, and we watched all of them on the side of the stage, stand in amazement, and actively be like … oh no, this is not gonna be good. Then the next thing you know, they put on one of the best performances I’ve actually seen in a long time. So it’s real cool to see that happen.

RRX: So you guys are basically just raising the bar for the rest of us. I appreciate that.

RA: This year in particular has been really, really crazy. We’ve done a lot, maybe a little too much. But you know? It is what it is.

RRX: Definitely. So is there anything about the band or any individual member in the band that might surprise us?

KA: Mike’s a professional poker player.

RRX: Really?

Mike: Yep. That’s what I do at home to make money when we’re not on the road.

RRX: That’s cool. Yeah, I am pretty good at poker myself, but I could never really afford too much. I’d go out to the casino, and I’d stay low stakes and that thing where they can’t put in too much money in before the flop. I forgot what they call that, but they set the limits. I got on the wrong table one time, and I was like … I can’t even f**king play because before I even see the flop, people are putting in thousands of dollars, and I got like $50.

Mike: Yeah. So, bankroll is sadly a very important part of playing poker at a professional level. It can sometimes be tough with the touring because I come back a little more broke than I wanna be. I have to have a healthy enough payroll to make sure I can withstand the ups and downs of the game because even when you’re playing really well, you’re still gonna have big losing streaks at times.

RRX: Well, at least you admit that. I know a lot of gamblers that haven’t gotten that message yet. That’s cool, though. I’m afraid, you know? I got my family and stuff. Last thing I want to do is be like, “Oh, I’m sorry, hon, but I didn’t get the rent money.” So that’s a little rough. Where are you guys at with that? Does anyone in the band have kids that they know of?

RA: No. Oh yeah **** does.

KA: Yeah, ***** has a kid in Austin.

CT: I have a cat!

RRX: Same thing (Laughs).

KA: I have a cat. Our roadie Splatt has two or three kids.

RRX: I’m sure at times being crammed into the van probably sucks. But I’m sure, at other times, it’s some of the greatest experiences that you could probably ever have.

KA: Yeah, it kind of sums it up more than anything. Overall, it’s enjoyable and it’s always gonna have its moments. Being in a tight spot with five other people, you’re always gonna get frustrated but then you’re also gonna have an absolute blast too.

RRX: Exactly, and nothing can replace that. Anything else that any of you would like to say to people to intrigue them to check you out online and go to shows when you’re in their town?

RA: Our most recent release was in September … a 7-inch split with a Japanese band called the Sensations, and they’re insane live! Just go to their Instagram and watch some of their shows. They’re just jumping off the stage onto the crowd all the time. So check that out. It’s on Ska Punk International Records. Their whole roster is pretty incredible with up-and-coming ska people.

CT: Make sure you’re following our socials. We have been recording a lot; we have a lot of stuff in the works that we’re not gonna announce yet, but … a bunch of small to big releases possibly coming out. So you’re only gonna find out that way. Also, bring your socks to shows. We love socks. We love when people make their own sock puppets, but we always have socks for them. And on a personal note, I still will always accept milk and cheese at shows. My band benefits from it, so I don’t mind sharing.

RRX: (Laughs) Yeah, I totally forgot about the socks. I was not about to take my shoe off and disturb everyone with that, but glad you did supply some of your own socks for people.

RA: Yeah. Usually, we have more but they dwindle sometimes on tour.

CT: We actually have a sock budget.

RRX: Yeah, I bet! I appreciate your time.

RA: Okay, sounds good. Thanks, Rob. We’ll talk to you. Thanks for having us.

RRX: You got it. Now, when you start rating food and beer, let me know.

More from Rob Smittix…