The Littleist Bigfoot – The Weird Side of the Internet

The Littleist Bigfoot – The Weird Side of the Internet – by Liam Sweeny.

Yeah, I had a bigfoot encounter. Admittedly, I was center label of a fifth of Dewar’s white label and my best friend was telling me the benefits of the extra rifling in the barrel of his .270, which was resting nearby. We heard it; the crash in the forest. Not a deer, not a bear, for my friend was a hunter his whole life and knew what they sounded like. Big cracks; tree limbs smashed. Then the shriek, nothing that would make its way to my barnyard See-and-Say.

I don’t tell you we barged into the woods that night, drunk with guns. I will tell you that I’m reasonably certain drunk hunters can’t bag a bigfoot at night. But in Indonesia, on its tenth biggest island Flores, there’s another hairy, ape-like creature. Or is there?

Locals have spoken of sightings of an approximately three-foot tall ape man. They don’t call it “small foot,” but I think they should, and I’m invoking credit now. Anthropologist Gregory Forth talks about his journey to discover this race in his book, Between Ape and Human: An Anthropologist on the Trail of a Hidden Hominoid. He calls these creatures homo floresciensis.

Okay, now, it’s an island. Even if it’s a big island, it can’t be that big. I can’t scratch my ass in a gas station bathroom off the Thruway without it generating a report in the National Security Agency. Me and buddy and bigfoot, that was twenty years ago. Every square mile was under a camera then. But they can’t find a little three-foot ape on just one island?

This brings up my deep wondering of why we haven’t caught an actual bigfoot yet, me knowing they exist. Maybe bigfoot, and possibly Homo Floresciensis, are trophy items kept secret by only the most savvy hunters. Like there’s a black market in cryptid corpses.

I know what I heard.

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