Lottery Dreams – The Weird Side of the Internet

Lottery Dreams – The Weird Side of the Internet – by Liam Sweeny.

In doing these weird stories, sometimes it’s a slow news week. A zebra gets loose from the zoo, and how to you try to squeeze a couple of hundred words out of that. I end up telling you all a lot ore about me than I do about zebras. It’s because the joy of fluff journalism is to make a masterpiece out of a worn Sharpie’s marker. Now if the Zebra is the clone of a famous Zebra, then maybe you got something. Even better yet, if the zebra has a special skill, or is on a mission to avenge its family, murdered by poachers at the Cleveland Zoo, then the commentary just writes itself.

But what of a man who won the Powerball in D.C. after a dream? Sounds cool, but it really depends on the dream. If you dream of a glowing display of the actual numbers, and, said numbers fresh in your mind, you go play them and win, that’s a damn good story.

Tommy M. had just lost his mom and his dog, which right away makes him ripe for the underdog in any adventure movie (or rom-com.) So he has a dream, not of the lottery numbers, but simply that he would be a millionaire, and he plays and he wins. Story here? Maybe if he never played. But alas, Tommy M. is a regular player.

I’m not saying this isn’t a story. A guy that loses his mom and his dog, only to dream of winning, and win the lottery; it’s a touching story. But it’s not weird news. I mean, I like coconut, but don’t put it in the dairy aisle.

Do you feel like I’ve wasted your time? Good, now you’re feeling what I felt. And if you’ve gotten this far, you have to admit, you’ve kind of wasted your own time a bit. You should play the Lottery. Here, I’ll give you numbers: 03, 23, 31, 49, 61. Powerball 11.

You’re welcome.

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