Under the Bed – The Weird Side of the Internet

Under the Bed – The Weird Side of the Internet – by Liam Sweeny.

A paper cut. Yeah, for a split second, that chill washes over you, that instant empathy of getting sliced by a sharp shard of pulp. Certain things make us shake and quake and shiver out of just pure spark of instinct. We have access to a deep, ominous revulsion, and when it gets triggered, it’s visceral.

Here’s a case in point. A child in Kansas complains to their babysitter of a monster under the bed. The babysitter tried to convince the child that there were no such things as monsters, and finally, after her words fell flat, she pulled up the covers to show the child under the bed that there was nothing there…

…nothing except a guy that was under the bed. Who then proceeded to get out from under there and try to fight everybody in the room, knocking the child over.

Can you believe that? Checking under the bed for monsters is something we’ve all done, and we never really expect to find anything under there but there’s always that split second where you’re either going to see a monster or you’re not. That hesitation. And suddenly, after decades of false alarms, there’s actually a guy under there.

So was there a backstory here? Of course, it was a scummer with an order of protection, had nothing better to do with his time except stalk. If these people weren’t so sad, they’d be easier to ridicule.

Why do I think this guy had a bag of trail mix and a can of tuna on his person. Are those euphemisms for Schedule 1 Narcotics? Maybe.

If there was ever a case of babysitters getting combat pay, this is it.

This is still creeping me out. Not the impending danger, but the spending so many years looking for monsters under the bed and then actually seeing. That’s gotta be even slightly more intense than finding out ghosts exist.

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