Crouching Tiger, Hidden Wedding – The Weird Side of the Internet

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Wedding – The Weird Side of the Internet – by Liam Sweeny.

Did you ever want to get married? Oh, you’re already married? Taking a guess here, but if you are or were married, you know you have to do certain things to make it happen. For once, you need the marriage license, which has to be officiated. But really key to this is that both parties have to show up.

Imagine waking up to find out only one of you showed up? Not that you overslept, which might be grounds for annulment before the fact, but that you weren’t there because you didn’t know it was happening.

An unidentified 42-yeare-old man got a gift basket from Bath and Body Works, and a picture of his girlfriend-now-wife holding up the marriage certificate.

36-year-old Kristin Marie Spearman, the betrothed in question, had been in a committed relation with the name-hidden man, and they had gone to the Wayne County courthouse to get a marriage license. But they never made it to the altar, having had a blow-up fight prior to the nuptials.

She was charged with third-degree felony stalking. I have to wonder if there’s a first degree felony stalking, because I mean, marrying someone without their will sounds like the most egregious case of stalking, am I right?

I hope he’s Catholic, because if so, he can get it annulled, if there ever was a case for it, it would be this.

But seriously, what was she thinking? How would they have looked going to ‘couples’ things? How would anniversaries gone? Is every year coal? Or maybe fool’s gold? He has the most perfect excuse, though, to forget their anniversary – he wasn’t there.

And of course none of this is on him. She’s now set herself up to be that crazy ex-girlfriend. In fact, she’s the ultimate crazy ex-girlfriend.

But hey, why get the milk for free when you can buy the cow?

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