We’re Not Losing Gravity on August 12th – The Weird Side of the Internet

We’re Not Losing Gravity on August 12th – The Weird Side of the Internet – by Liam Sweeny.

You know what’s cool? Nonsense. Shiny, steaming, twinkling nonsense. I’m at a crossroads though, with nonsense. Because I’m just saying the conspiracy theorists I grew up with were talking about all this world weirdness decades ago. But some conspiracy theories are flat out bull. Flat earth? Sorry. I just don’t get how you can have so many obvious ways to prove the earth is round and people still believe they might fall off the edge of the ocean. Greek mathematician Eratosthenes figured out the earth was round by measuring shadows, and that was over two-thousand years ago. Right, Colombus didn’t prove anything.

The latest conspiracy theory is that on August 12^th, the earth is going to lose gravity for seven seconds. And it’s been going around for a bit. So the earth’s gravitational pull isn’t a steady, consistent thing because the earth’s not perfectly round. It’s an oblate spheroid; it’s lumpy. Because of that, mass isn’t distributed evenly, so gravity is stronger some places than it is in others. But overall, big picture, it doesn’t change. If on August 12^th the earth loses its ass end, then yeah, gravity would change. But not here.

Conspiracy theories are fun, but people have to be able to see them for what they are. I’m a novelist, so I make up conspiracy theories all the time. And I don’t think that people are that dumb individually, but if it’s fun to dump the balance of your sixth grade science class to make fun friends and run around like you’re one of the chosen few who know the truth.

So sadly no, gravity isn’t going to fail on August 12^th. I think it’s actually an eclipse somewhere; that’s how this all came up. August 12^th, you will not be able to dunk, not unless you could dunk before the 12^th. In fact, you probably won’t be any lighter on the scale, but by all means weigh in.

 

 

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