Little Runners – The Weird Side of the Internet

Little Runners – The Weird Side of the Internet – by Liam Sweeny.

This first step to doing one of my stories is to, of course, read the original story. And they fall into two categories: stories I can do better than, and those I can’t. The story to come straddles that line.

There is one primary reason that sperm race, to win; or rather, to beat out all of its cousins to introduce a bird to a bee and you know the rest. That’s nature. Nurture is whatever paren’t raised Eric Zhu, Nick Small, Shane Fan and Garret Niconienko to decide to set up the first ever “Sperm Racing Competition.

Yes, this is exactly how it sounds. Men from 128 countries provide a sample, which is processed and individual spermatozoa are put on a ‘track’ which includes a microcurrent for resistance.

The idea is to promote good health, as male fertility have dropped 60% over the last 50 years. So they set up the competition. It doesn’t say anything about training regiments, but maybe it doesn’t have to. Oh yeah, and the winner gets a hundred thousand dollars. I think a good, I mean really good sex doll can go for that.

Can you deduct sports training expenses from your taxes? Because that would be a great way to get strip clubs on the expense account without pretending it’s a lunch date.

When I first saw the headline of “Sperm Racing Championship,” I really had a different idea of where this was going to go. Cause I’d heard of pissing contests, so I figured same, right? Nope. And you have to pass a battery of tests. Not sure what a steroid is for your boys, or if the blue pill does anything for the strength of the family, but you can’t have either, it seems.

I don’t know about this one. I think I’ll just let this be a spectator sport. Um, wait…

 

 

More from Liam Sweeny…