The Worms Crawl In, The Worms Crawl Out

The Worms Crawl In, The Worms Crawl Out – by Art Fredette.

The dictionary says an earworm is:

• a catchy song or tune that runs continually through a person’s mind.
  “the whole album is packed full of earworms that get stuck in your head”

Every morning for as long as I can remember, I have awoken with a song in my head. Rarely has it been a good song, and usually it leaves me somewhat irritated.  What causes this?  I haven’t the foggiest. Why can’t it be a song I like?  Again, no clue, but there it is just bouncing around in all its “Muskrat Love” glory.

Mondays are bad enough without Shania Twain’s “Man! I Feel Like a Woman” rattling around my noggin, but here we are.  WHY?

According to the interweb and the all-powerful ChatGPT, earworms happen because the brain involuntarily replays catchy and simple tunes when it is triggered by stress, boredom, or anxiety. Well … I must be the most bored, anxiety-ridden, stressed person in the history of the world.  Otherwise, why would crappy country songs and large bricks of AM gold from the ‘70s be on shuffle inside my mind?

So, after pondering this question for many years, I decided to keep a diary of daily earworms for 30 days. What would I find?  Is there a connecting thread? Or could it be that I just spent too much time with my headphones on and I am now an addle-brained jukebox of half-songs on repeat? So here goes:

DAY 1 – “Lonely is The Night” – Billy Squier

DAY 2 – “If You Could Read My Mind” – Gordon Lightfoot

DAY 3 – “I Wanna Be a Lifeguard” – Blotto

DAY 4 – ”We Like To Party” – The VengaBoys – I mean W … T … F!!!!!

DAY 5 – The theme from “Love Boat” – ???????? – REALLY?

DAY 6 – “So Far Away” – Carole King

DAY 7 – “Billy Don’t Be A Hero” – Paper Lace – There’s that AM gold sneaking in.

DAY 8 – “Heartbreak Beat” – Psychedelic Furs

DAY 9 – “Breaking Up Is Hard to Do” – Neil Sedaka

DAY 10 – “Cat Scratch Fever” – Ted Nugent

DAY 11 – ”Octopus’ Garden” – The Beatles – Have I ever told you how much I disdain the Beatles?

DAY 12 – “Comes A Time” – Neil Young

DAY 13 – “Only Women Bleed” – Alice Cooper

DAY 14 – “Hot Stuff” – Donna Summer – Disco? Really? F’in disco?

Just about the halfway point here. I am questioning everything I have ever thought about my mental stability.

DAY 15 – “96 Tears” – ? and the Mysterians

DAY 16 – “You Picked a Fine Time to Leave Me Lucille” – Kenny Rogers.   Please, leave me, Lucille, and take Kenny with you.

DAY 17 – “Midnight Rider” – Allman Brothers

DAY 18 – “Baby Come Back” – Player

DAY 19 – “A Matter of Trust” – Billy Joel.  Great, the Long Island Liberace makes his debut. Thank God it wasn’t “Piano Man.”

DAY 20 – “You Oughta Know” – Alanis Morissette.

DAY 21 – “Stepping Stone” – The Monkees

DAY 22 – “Fashionable People” – Joel Plaskett.   This is spare parts Bud.

DAY 23 – “Little Lies” – Fleetwood Mac

DAY 24- “Soul Love” – David Bowie

DAY 25 – “You’ll Never Find Another Love Like Mine” – Lou Rawls-  AM radio rears its ugly influence again!

DAY 26 – “The Flame” – Cheap Trick – great band, shit song

DAY 27 – “Love Is in the Air” – John Paul Young. Does anyone even remember this guy?

DAY 28 – “Like the Way I Do” – Melissa Etheridge. Um, ok.

DAY 29 – “Too Shy” – Kajagoogoo

Coming up on the end of this experiment. I am more befuddled than enlightened. What will the last worm be?

DAY 30 – “Dirty Work” – Steely Dan. At least, I closed out with a good song.

30 days, 30 songs from the deep recesses of my psyche, and no real answers.  My question, Dear Reader, am I alone in this? Do you have worms? Earworms, that is?  One thing I can add is that if you do, I hope your list is as varied as mine and free of John Paul Young.

 

 

 

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