Lookalike Wedding – The Weird Side of the Internet

Lookalike Wedding – The Weird Side of the Internet – by Liam Sweeny.

This story came to me in a dream. In this dream, I was about to cover an Italian priest narrowly avoiding drinking from a poisoned chalice, but I chickened out on that and looked for something else, finding the marriage of UK denizens Amanda Baron and Ty Jones. Did I mention that Jones was a superfan of artist Ed Sheeran and Jones is an Ed Sheeran lookalike?

Before you go reading me here, I’m happy as hell for them. No judgment. If you think about it, who is more perfect for a celebrity lookalike to wed than a superfan? And who’s better for a superfan than someone who looks just like them, to the point of actually getting paid to impersonate them and win contests?

Imagine if she was like, “nah, I’m not really into the guy’s music that you could pass for in the street?” And what about him, all Ed Sheeran’d up and she actually burns for Justin Timberlake and he has to console her now that the world tour is ruined?

I know it sounds weird, like maybe they’re using each other, but if we’re honest, that’s like fifty percent of all marriages. We just grow to enjoy using each other. We’re symbiotes that cut grass and bake lemon meringue pies. In that order, cause once you cut yourself a slice of sweet lemon meringue pie the grass can wait.

I wonder if he sounds like Ed Sheeran? Imagine if he looks 98% like Ed Sheeran but sounds 99% like Henry Rollins? Would that be cool, going to a fake Ed Sheeran concert and hearing Black Flag? Probably be cheaper, you wouldn’t have to decide between an Ed Sheeran show and buying a Cybertruck.

I hope you never have to make that decision. At least if Ed Sheeran, fake or real, blows a vocal chord, you’ll only lose an hour of your life instead of six months’ wages.

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