Turkey Day at the ER – The Weird Side of the Internet

Turkey Day at the ER – The Weird Side of the Internet – by Liam Sweeny.

ER doctor Dr. Reed Caldwell has done twelve Thanksgivings in his ER, and he has some widsom about the peculiarities of the day. And I have stories and commentary to “guaze the sprain,” so to speak. And so, what did Dr. Caldwell see most?

So the big ones are the obvious ones. People cut themselves because they want to go samurai on a half frozen turkey. And everybody cracks out the peelers and the auto kitchen tools like food processors. This shouldn’t even count because this is any day you’re in the kitchen all day.

Next one is burns. Again, super-obvious. Think like dropping stuff. I sunk my hands in 130 degree miapoix by accident, and my Thanksgiving was “different” for about 45 minutes. Burns are no joke, and everything is hot.

This one is unique. Orthopedic injuries from the family football game. It must suck to blow your rotator cuff on Thankgiving? It’s not even a regular season game. I mean, you only got a few weeks before going up against the 40 meter carroling.

Head trauma is big with respect to falls, new people in new environments. Here’s hoping everyone who has someone elderly over is policing their floors.

Of course, the one I would’ve thought was first ended up near the bottom of the list. Stomach issues. You know, if you think about it, stomach wildness might end up being a Black Friday ER visit.

I love Thanksgiving. And on the particular Thanksgiving that I scalded my hands in mirepoix, I would’ve never went to the ER, no matter how bad it hurt. So you figure how bad does the cut have to be where Uncle Marty can’t fix it with duct tape and the butterfly strips in every bathroom first aid kit? How bad to go from family and feast directly to pondering life on a hallway gurney.

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