High Sheep and Storm Daniel

High Sheep and Storm Dnieal. Commentary by Liam Sweeny.

I like to have fun with you at our little daily story times, but sometimes the difference between tears of laughter and tears of sadness depends on which side of the story you’re on.

So let me get the bad out of the way. There was a storm named Daniel and a country named Greece and they didn’t like each other. A lot of flooding, a lot. And not to mention a heatwave before that. If you were a Greek farmer, you were truly singing the blues (or whatever the Greek version of that is; maybe a sea shanty).

So if you have a growing operation for medical marijuana, you’d be hating nature at this point. The owner, unidentified but from Magnesia, lamented the entire thing, as was his due. Also lamenting were a herd of sheep, which don’t really cry out at the Good Lord when they’re beset by hardship; they just find food. They eat their stress.

Do you see where this is going yet? Bear with me. The farmer had three hundred kilograms of pot left after the heatwave and the storm, and suddenly he didn’t have a hundred kilograms. He had some very happy customers that would need to be sheared if they were ever to be drug-tested.

Yes, a herd of sheep ate three hundred kilograms of medical marijuana. Three hundred kilograms is six hundred pounds. That’s six whole crackheads. A herd of sheep ate six whole crackheads of high-grade pot.

Were they acting different? Of course they were. But sheep aren’t new to the evolutionary chain. They must have, in their history, chewed on some bud. But probably shit bud like we had in the nineties, shit that grew in the wild. Jesus, thinking about it, they must have been toasted.

The farmer didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. We’re with you, our friend. We’re with you.

More by Liam Sweeny.