Observations and Ramblings from a Cranky Old Guy

Observations and Ramblings – Jeff Spaulding.

In your life, have you ever felt alone, ever been picked on, ever been laughed at. Did you ever want to give a “two finger salute” to the world and shout “Up Against the Wall Redneck Mother?

It could be for various reasons. You like Nickelback. You keep adding to your pet rock collection. You think Rob Smittix would make a great babysitter.

Is THAT what’s flaring up your piles now that you’ve used the last of the Preparation H, eh Bunkie?

Lemme use a song as a reference, it’s a One Hit Wonder from 1967 by Beach Boys knock off group “The Trade Winds” called “New York’s a Lonely Town (When You’re the Only Surfer Boy Around)”

The subject is simple, a “fish out of water” angle where the California kid can’t run his board down Broadway in the Big Apple.

(There’s a similar but lesser-known song from the 70’s by the Euclid Beach Band called “There’s No Surf in Cleveland”-a personal favorite).

I am convinced EVERYONE has ONE thing that makes people think you’re nuts.

In my case, that thing is football (Hey the season is upon us).

While I was born in Florida, early on my parents came to the Capital District, and while I traveled around the country, you would think as a gridiron fan my passion would be with the Giants, Jets, Bills, or a combination of all three.

Not this cranky old guy. Since 1974, my passion, my love, my soul, has been for the residents of “The Dawg Pound”, the Cleveland Browns.

See, I hear the snickering already, but I don’t care. They never won a championship title before. Not true, they took home four NFL championships (pre–Super Bowl), 1950, 1954, 1955, 1964. (On a related note, and sport, when I get ragging from Red Sox Fans, I say “Eat Me” 86 times (if you know you know.)

Then I get the pile on’s about the actual City of Cleveland. The Mistake on The Lake. Where the Cuyahoga River CAUGHT ON FIRE!

Ok, that was the past, but I tell you today, Cleveland is a Rocking Town! There’s a reason the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame is there. Lots of famous people are from Cleveland, Bob Hope, LeBron James, Margaret Hamilton, Paul Newman, Luke Perry…ok forget that one…and a lot more.

And to totally add to the legend of the town, from a Geek Boy perspective, THE TWO GUYS WHO CREATED SUPERMAN ARE FROM THERE!

Now, back to my love of the Browns, lemme use this analogy. There’s a good chance if you are reading this dreck, you, or someone you know moved from here to another part of the country, where they didn’t care about your hometown sports teams, or your great hometown radio stations (pay me later Fredette), or the joy of a meal from Hattie’s Chicken Shack (Finger lick this Colonel Sanders).

So, you defend your love and fandom to the greatest degree, and say “screw everyone else, it’s my (fill in the blank) and I’m with them to the end”!

Maybe in time you will meet people in that town with similar interests. They ARE rare, but they will be there, you just need to track them down.

Here’s the funny thing. As a rule, I’m not a huge follower of sports. Most times, I might watch a great television show or movie in place of The World Series or Stanley Cup. But football is my crack, and the Browns are my pusher.

I’m such a fan of the Dawgs, I wish nothing but bad luck to those who ruined my team. What if Terry Bradshaw invents a cure for cancer? Yay. John Elway makes it to Mars. Whoopie. That’s not to not acknowledge the accomplishments of the Steelers or Broncos, but if I had to, in public, I would do it while going over Niagara Falls without a barrel.

My last hope, I’m hitting 68 soon, and like any fans, I want just one Browns Super Bowl win before I pack it in. If it doesn’t happen, I die with the hope of being able to shake the hand of Jim Brown in that big stadium in the sky.

And knowing quite well the Devil wears Black and Gold.

Be hearing you.

More from Jeff Spaulding.