Carrying Your Wife – The Weird Side of the Internet

Carrying Your Wife – The Weird Side of the Internet – by Liam Sweeny.

You may not like this one if you have no sense of humor. If that is the case, I’ll give you the trolly problem. A trolly is going down the track, and five people are tied to the track. Yada yada yada… okay, you’re still here, cool. So what we have is called the North American Wife Carrying Championship. It took place in Newry, Maine, and drew people from all over the world, whittled down to just over 30 couples. It is exactly how it sounds. The “husband” carries the “wife” 278 yards through mud and obstacles for the chance to win the “wife’s” weight in both beer and cash.

I’m using a lot of quotes because it doesn’t really have to be a husband carrying a wife. They don’t have to be married, and they don’t have to be a man and a woman, but they are “husband and wife” for the purposes of the contest.

It started in Finland, with the legend of Ronkainen the Robber, who pillaged towns and did indeed carry wives away.

Most of the competitors carried their wives over their shoulder like a backpack. Can you imagine this being a big public thing? I would love to see it here. C’mon, it’s whimsy.

From what they’re saying, this contest is insane and needs high agility. 278 yards, muddy, rocks and branches, I’m going to go ahead and say they need the wife’s weight in beer just to relax after the trip.

I actually want to do it, but it’s daunting. And I don’t have a girlfriend. I mean basically, it’s just Uber but a super small trip. And I think that there are a number of sporting pursuits in which the winner will be paid in their weight in beer. I’m 400 pounds; how many kegs is that?

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