The $5 Million Reese’s – Glitches in the Matrix
Written by Staff on November 18, 2024
The $5 Million Reese’s – Glitches in the Matrix – by Liam Sweeny.
Sometimes, “weird,” “odd,” and “strange” are due to forces beyond human control, such as a moment of extraordinary kismet, or a glitch in the gleaming death’s head façade of the matrix, but in some cases, and to be honest, in far too many cases, the weird/odd/strange is revealed to be stupidity plugged into a Marshall stack.
Take the case of Cynthia Kelly of Hillsborough County, Florida. An ordinary day of Halloween shopping, whereupon she purchase a bag of Reeses “Pumpkins.” She was, or claimed to have been mesmerized by the cute little pumkin mouth and eyes carved into the chocolate exterior, revealing the peat butter “stuff” underneath. However, when she got home, something went horribly wrong, a revelation that would terrify her and scar her for all Halloweens to come:
The pumpkins didn’t have faces carved into them. They were just pumpkin shapes filled with Reese’s. Something had to be done.
Not give a sh*t about this and go about her day? Nah. Grab a knife from the drawer and carve some faces? Nope.
Launch a $5 million-dollar class action lawsuit against Reese’s? Bingo.
She, and apparently more than a hundred others, are suing Reese’s for “deceptive advertising practices” for showing the pumpkins and ghosts and probably snowmen or whatever the hell else they could draw faces on having said faces drawn on the packaging.
$5 million.
I don’t know who I feel more sorry for, the spokesperson for Reese’s that has to find a way to comment on this without calling the plaintiff a lead-paint eating mouth—breather, or the lawyer who took this case thinking he’s got a goldmine and is about to find he has over a hundred lead-paint eating mouth-breather clients who think they’re going to get something out of this other than maybe a buy-one, get-one free coupon on all Reese’s product.
Bigger things in life, Cynthia.
From WFLA.
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