Flooding the Station – The Weird Side of the Internet

Flooding the Station – The Weird Side of the Internet – by Liam Sweeny.

Flagstaff and Melbourne Central station. State of Victoria, Australia. An exuberant horde of Olivia Rodrigo fans, fresh from a show, were eager to get home, or go to afterparties, or maybe to run amok through Victoria, but probably the last thing they wanted to do was sit on the train as a flooded station caused a monster of a delay.

A man. A woman. Let’s call the man Mick; why not? We can even give him a crocodile-tooth hat. The woman? Matilda. And Matilda’s hot because Mick is hot and getting hotter the closer he gets to her, sweaty palms as he grabs her and pins her up against the wall. Wet, wet, wet… which usually happens when you dislodge a sprinkler.

I’d like to think Mick and Matilda were able to connect their intentions after they left the stairwell, because they certainly didn’t reconnect the sprinkler. And in the mother of cascade effects, the sprinkler flooded a bunch of platforms and brought the wrath of a demigod through Flagstaff and Melbourne.

So the Danny Pearson is the Minister of Transport Infrastructure, and thus the lucky, or unlucky soul to have to tell the public what happened. And he couldn’t keep a straight face.

“Perhaps a stairwell may not be an appropriate place to find yourself at the end of a dinner,” he said.

Why does it feel like Mick and Matilda should be more embarrassed for having done it that he was for explaining it. Maybe part of their punishment should’ve been having to explain to hordes of Olivia Rodrigo fans why they had to miss the after parties.

This wouldn’t even register a throat clear in America. First, we don’t think she was a hooker with twenty-three assault convictions on her jacket. And he’s not even the spitting image of that guy on the Netflix show. And where was the kangaroo? Aren’t all embarrassing Australia stories incomplete without a marsupial?

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