Bat Guano – The Weird Side of the Internet

Written by on January 3, 2025

Bat Guano – The Weird Side of the Internet – by Liam Sweeny.

I’ve never grown pot, but I was a stoner for years back when you couldn’t get it at a dispensary. And inevitably I’d be in my dealer’s house, one of them anyways, and a bearded, grizzled libertarian type that I knew had a mid-sized arsenal somewhere in the mountains would talk about his grow operation. And if the phrase “bat guano” didn’t come out of his mouth, he surely was not legit.

These days, you don’t have to know somebody to get bay guano, or bat shit to the uninitiated. You can just buy it online, and talking about it now gives you the same attention as the craft beer person talking about hops. We have lost something in the legalization.

Now that they sell bat guano on Amazon, we’ve learned that they also sell histoplasmosis. Histoplasmosis is a fungal infection that lives in poo, namely bat poo and to a degree, bird poo. Two grow enthusiasts were recently killed from the infection, which has varied symptoms such as emphysema, abdominal pain and slowing of the blood.

I don’t have names for the men. I guess their relatives didn’t want them to be known for dying from bat guano, I don’t know, or maybe they have such a sweet grow spot that it must remain a secret.

I imagine that no matter what you use to fertilize weed with, there’s some heath concern. I should say anything that is alleged to have some “magical” potency like bat guano. But this is weird of me to say that I kind of want to smoke the weed they grew with bat guano, just to see if their demise was worth it. Also I want to know if those grizzled libertarian folk from back in the day were on to something.

Yeah, avoid bat dukes. My PSA.

 

 

More from Liam Sweeny…


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