Slip ‘N Slide – The Weird Side of the Internet

Slip ‘N Slide – The Weird Side of the Internet – by Liam Sweeny.

There are things you talk about, and there are things you don’t. This is one of those things you don’t. It’s low-brow; I’m just telling you now. Have you heard of the new NBC show “Ultimate Slip ‘N Slide”? Probably not, because production’s been halted. But it sounds cool, right? Hell yeah. I say this in spirit, because I don’t think I was ever on a slip ‘n slide when I was a kid. Not much grass around my neighborhood growing up. Or something, I don’t know. But this show does sound cool. It is described thusly, “wet-and-wild new series [that] takes the spirit of the classic backyard slide and transforms it into a real-life water park full of gigantic slippery rides with the chance to take home a big cash prize.”

But production was halted when forty people among the contestants and crew developed explosive diarrhea. I said this was lowbrow. I mean really bad, “explosive diarrhea,” its all in the name. Porta-pottie lifelines, people collapsing, etc. They said a test of one man showed Giardia, a parasite that causes, you guessed it…

My only question is, we’re they on the slides when this happened? I mean, this could’ve been bad or this could’ve been REALLY bad. And maybe I ask this for the same reason I don’t go into public pools, the absolute fear that whatever bugs are being released into the water by children and gross people has started chugging chlorine shakes and has immunity.

I don’t think I’m going to be able to watch that show now. Not so much because of the diarrhea – I’m sure they’ll clean the slide off – but because who the hell still has network channels these days? I only got the three shows I watch, and they’re M.A.S.H., House, and The Cleveland Show. In other words, slipping and sliding will miss me by a mile, and may Giardia miss me by two.

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