The Nose Knows – The Weird Side of the Internet

The Nose Knows – The Weird Side of the Internet – by Liam Sweeny.

Let’s talk about size. Yes, that size. It seems to be so important that when I said just that single word, you knew exactly what I was referring to. Is it important? Depends on who you ask, but whether it truly is the size of the oar or how you rock the boat, everybody has an opinion. Or maybe just a hope.

Probably from the beginning of time, men and women have tried to figure out a way to tell a man’s “dimensions” without turning the day NC-17. The most obvious magic measurement is height. Tall guys must be proportional, right? This hasn’t been confirmed, but it remains popular. You know what they say about big feet, right? Yup, big shoes. What about hand size? Who knows. Very fortunately, there are no sanctioned competitions. No peter pageants where you dress it up in formal wear (condoms) and ask it about world peace. So we say height, or feet or hands and those blessed in inches and appendages wink and smile and have the good sense not to engage in lewd conduct to settle the matter.

But what if there was a way to tell by just looking at someone? Turns out there might very well be. A Japanese study of men found that penile size was most closely correlated to…. drumroll…. Nose size.

Yes indeed. Big noses, big hoses. Granted, this was only studied in Japanese men, so it might just be true for them, but it stands as the only indicator that has revealed itself (no pun intended) in a scientific study.

So how’s that for a brainworm? Now you’re going to look around at the bus stop, or the coffee shop, and you’re going to see some guy with an eighteen-wheel honker and you’re just going to wonder. And that is the essence of news you can use.

 

 

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