The King – The Weird Side of the Internet

The King – The Weird Side of the Internet – by Liam Sweeny.

Not too many years ago, there was a dark horse. It was a disturbance that, ironically, fed a pop culture niche, a joke known to all but told to none. This anomaly was Burger King’s “The King.”

The King cared about you. But being on your bed in the morning to deliver you a breakfast sandwich as you woke was a little too far. He kind of felt like a guy who is always there for you, but then it downs on you that it’s because he’s always therebecause cameras are cheap these days, and small as salt. This is who the king was.

In a way, “The King” is the gleaming mockery of an eldritch god. He showed us our insignificance, his overbearing presence, his offer of salvation. The terrible cost.

So they offed the king in 2011, and they said, in part, that children tested negatively. He scared them. Now you may launch into a standard screed of kids needing to be tougher, but what was BK going to do? Kids nag mom, who nags a cashier for a spicy chicken sandwich and a paper hat.

But yeah, kids gotta be tough. I swear that 100 percent of the people that will still be here five years after the apocalypse liked “The King” when they were kids. Those are the Spartans.

Burger King’s chief marketing officer Joel Yashinsky explained the decision to banish “The King.”: “At our heart and soul, we were always a family brand. So you will see that in the work we do, from advertising, from social media — a brand that’s welcoming and fun, but not at anyone’s expense.”

I really hope that a cult grows up around The King. Like those clowns were appearing places right around the pandemic, we could have kings popping up with random whoppers,.

Does “The King” have diplomatic immunity?

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