Amy-Lin Slezak – Thanks for Asking!

Amy-Lin Slezak – Thanks for Asking! – by Liam Sweeny.

RRX: Love is a big part of music. We’re talking first loves here. Lots of cool stories about first loves and the things we do for those loves. Can you (or, in the case of a band, one member) talk about your first love, especially if you did something cool to express that love? (No names needed.)

ALS: When I was sixteen I fell head over heels for a cowboy at one of the horse shows where we competed.  I’ve been an equestrian since I was little.  Horses play a huge role in my life, so meeting a boy who shared that passion was very attractive.  We both really believed we were meant to be together.  But sixteen is too young for forever.  We broke up (actually, he dumped me and broke my heart), he moved far away, I went to college and you’d think that would be the end of that.  Cute story to file away in the scrapbook, right?  But we never got over each other.  Never.

It went back and forth over the years.  We were separated by hundreds of miles. We both dated other people. He even had a son and married someone else. But still there was this connection we couldn’t get away from.  The first song I ever wrote was about him.  I wrote it in college.  It’s awful, but it’s about that connection that we both believed would eventually pull us back together.  Like I said, I dated.  I had a full social calendar in college and grad school!  But when his marriage inevitably ended, we, at last, had the resources to physically get back together and try out a relationship as two adults.

That was it.  We’ve been together for 26 years, married for 22 of them.  He’s the love of my life.  Those years of wondering and feeling torn apart were hard, but they were necessary.  I was really lucky to have that time in college, dating, meeting people.  My third release that dropped last summer, Known 3 yrs. Seen 24 hrs., is about one particular friend (sometimes more than a friend) who was a big part of that time in my life.  For more details about the drama, check out that song!  True story!

RRX: What was the very first reaction to your music, from the first person to ever hear so much as a practice jam or the demo of your first song

ALS: As I mentioned above, the first song I ever wrote was in college, about that longing to be with someone I couldn’t be with at the time.  I wrote it at the piano in a practice room between translating and rehearsing opera arias and art songs. One day in a voice lesson we wrapped up early and I played it for my professor.  She didn’t go crazy with praise, she just smiled and said, “I think you’re onto something here.  Keep going.”  It was a different approach to singing for me, and she said it was reminiscent of her Joni Mitchell albums.  She thanked me for trusting her to listen.  I don’t think people realize, sharing something you personally wrote with another person is terrifying.  It’s worse than the naked in the cafeteria nightmare.  Her encouragement to keep going gave me what I needed to keep trying.

I think that was my junior year of college?  I wrote about five or six songs during that time. In addition to my professors, my very best friend from college cheered me on from the beginning. We would practice in adjacent rooms in a quiet little corner of the Music Department at Fredonia and every time I got an idea for a song I’d bang on the wall and call her over to listen.  She’s been my biggest cheerleader.  She’s the same friend who told me I had  to release You Don’t Believe Her.  Thirty years later and she’s still my sounding board, my go to for feedback on every project, nearly every step of the process.  She probably knows my voice better than anyone else on earth, so I rely on her for so much!

One take away I’d like to give people here:  if someone takes the chance on you, if someone shares something they wrote or created, please don’t ever knock it down.  You don’t need to blow smoke up their ass or tell them it’s great if it’s not (in fact, that’s just as bad as tearing it down).  Just be kind and encouraging.  I’ve never heard of a single artist who struck gold on the first thing they wrote. So your encouragement and kindness could be the thing that sets another person on a great journey.  Please do not take that responsibility lightly!

RRX: In the musical world, there are many supporting players. Recording engineers, sound techs, cover art designers. Who are three people that support the craft that you would like to shine a spotlight on?

ALS: When it comes to the industry associated people that support my craft, I’m really grateful to have a lot of wonderful people to lean on! I mentioned my team from Airgigs up above.  Each of them contributes so much to this endeavor for me, but I have to shine a spotlight on my engineer.  Matthew Kutoloski is my mixing and mastering engineer, but he’s also so much more!  I call him my “emotional support engineer”.  When I made the decision to record How Dare She I knew so little about what I was doing.  Before I even had the tracks ready to send him for mixing, Matt took the time to talk me through setting up my equipment and the DAW.  He’s been so patient on every project, teaching me so much.

His wife is a vocalist as well,  and they are both active in the musical theatre world, so we have a lot in common!  Our message threads were getting so long that we eventually had to start texting each other directly.  Now, we check in regularly and chat even in between projects.  I’ve been struggling with some issues with my voice and I’ve been able to lean on him for that as well.  He’s not just my engineer, at this point he’s become a friend.  If there’s anything more valuable than the knowledge and expertise he brings to my projects, it’s the friendship!

Speaking of friends, one of my closest friends from grad school also happens to be a musician and engineer as well.  Everything I knew about recording before How Dare She, I learned from Jeff, and he’s still teaching me along with Matt. He’s always been a huge supporter of my music.  Years ago when we met in Memphis, he helped me make a demo of one of my earliest songs.  He played guitar for me when I couldn’t play well enough to communicate what I wanted a song to sound like.  He’s always available to provide me with honest feedback about my writing, my projects, my voice, anything.

I haven’t mentioned this yet, but I took a long break from doing anything with my own music. In my 20’s I thought I’d head to Nashville or New York.  I decided against that life and chose a family instead.  But two years ago when I had the inspiration and opportunity to start creating music again, Jeff was right there, texting me, face timing, talking on the phone, helping me learn how to use a DAW, how to set up my interface, listening to my first (really bad) self recorded demos and helping me figure it all out.

None of this would have been possible without his support.  He’s surprised me by sending me equipment!  One day a package arrived from sweet water out of the blue.  I called him and said, “Did you send me a new microphone??”  All he said was “It appears I did.”   And while I don’t always like the feedback and suggestions he gives me, I always appreciate it because I know it’s honest.  It’s nice to have friends that always pump you up, and I have those, but every artist needs to have someone who will give them the harsh, raw, honest feedback they might not like hearing.  I know I can always turn to Jeff for that!

I mentioned my best friend from undergrad above, so in the spirit of trying to acknowledge as many people as possible, my third choice to shine a spotlight on is Niki Kaos and the whole WAMM community she has created here in the capital district!  I walked into my first WAMM Jam last summer feeling so insecure and out of place.  Don’t get me wrong, as a singer I am very confident in my abilities.  I consider myself to be a decent songwriter too.  But when it comes to playing an instrument, especially in a group, my confidence isn’t so strong.  The WAMM Jam Allstars have changed that.  It’s a very special community offering support for fem identifying musicians.  Being part of the first ever WAMM Jam festival in Troy last September was a huge thrill for me. I played an acoustic set as part of the festival, but the finale was our All Star set when eight of us women joined forces to play five songs to close the festival.

We had several rehearsals over the summer to prep, and that’s the first “band” experience I’ve had in a LONG time! I’ve been in operas, theatre productions and I solo, but the band scene was never something I got to do.  I chose to play keys and I was really scared that I was the weakest link.  The whole classically trained musician thing is sometimes a drag on my psyche!  We can be extremely hard on ourselves.  But every time I felt insecure, there were these seven other women in the room telling that voice to shut up! Since then, WAMM has had more jam sessions, we had a DIY merch workshop led by Shannon Tehya, and the events keep growing!  All of this exists because of Niki’s vision.  So I have to say thank you to Niki and the WAMM ladies for really building me up and bolstering me when I feel alone.  They ground me to the in person world when I get tired of chasing algorithms and followers!

RRX: We let it out differently when we play music. The happy, sad, good and back; it can all be put out musically. Overall, do you feel better when you sing about the better times, or the worser times? Is there a difference you can describe?

ALS: Music is such an important part of our lives because of this! The amazing thing about music is that it gives emotional release to the performer and the listener, and that exchange of energy is why music is so powerful at helping us connect!  I honestly love it all, the happy, the sad, the angry. . . I seem to really embrace singing about the angry!

I have a number of upbeat, raucous, funny songs that really get the crowd revved up.  That’s always a great feeling.  I love writing political parody songs and dropping a funny line.  It’s very healing to collectively laugh (sometimes we have to laugh or we’ll cry).  Last summer I performed one of my snarky, funny feminist songs (Mansplain) and when I dropped the line “You’re the man with all the answers only problem is, no one asked!” A man in the front nearly fell off his chair laughing; he didn’t see that coming!  That was very rewarding.  And those songs definitely provide an invigorating rush.  It’s a high.

Sad songs are a different kind of release.  It’s hard to say if one feels better than the other.  In the best times we all need to let it out, but it seems these days its harder than ever to let go.  The first time I sang You Don’t Believe Her in front of people was at an open mic at The Real McCoy back in October.  I wasn’t ready for how hard it was going to be, and I say that as someone who has performed entire operas!  Funny how you can get through a whole production one day, but a 4 minute song kicks your ass on another!  Letting all that emotion out in front of people for the first time was so powerful I actually ended up feeling physically ill later. I don’t think people understand how much the emotions performers put into their work manifest physically.

But in the moment, sharing it with an audience and seeing them react to my lyrics in real time was incredibly satisfying.  It’s always cathartic to open up on a big phrase and really let my voice fill the room.  I have a really big voice and I’ve been trained to use my instrument.  So yeah, I like to let it fly.  But the best part of performing a song like You Don’t Believe Her being able to pull back from all that rage and bring the audience back in for a feeling of closer connection.  The song really gets raging at the bridge, but the end is vulnerable and quiet.  Without a doubt, if there’s anything more rewarding than thunderous applause, it’s when you finish a song so focused and so locked into the moment that the audience doesn’t want to move.  There’s a collective pause, the tension is still hanging in the air, before everyone feels it’s ok to breath again.  For me, that’s the best emotional release of all.  That’s why I love writing and performing for people.  I like taking that roller coaster ride together!

Photo provided.

 

 

 

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