Olympics and Codpieces – The Weird Side of the Internet

Olympics and Codpieces – The Weird Side of the Internet – by Liam Sweeny.

The Winter Olympics. Italy. A country of romance and love. And if you’re a skier in competition, of the need for an edge. Or a lump, how you look like it.

There was a thing called “penisgate,” last year. The men were using hyaloronic acid to make their, well, “medal” bigger. I know it sounds stupid, and it is, but they weren’t doing it to bring back the codpiece. They were making their genital area bigger so they could score I bigger ski suit, which apparently gives them more lift. So this year, the Olympics are going ham on detection. They’re using digital imaging and measuring to know exactly what a male jumper’s penis size.

I don’t know. I get that no one should have an unfair advantage, but I kind of want to see just how big they can get their d*cks. I want to see someone basically whip themselves up a kickstand. Does that count as a third ski?

Another thing is that I have to wonder if it gets in the way of having sex. I’ve never heard of people using hyaloronic acid; I always thought that was a hair thing.

Which raises a question: how do the most in-shape, high intensity men and women deal with being in a tiny village together?

Bow-chicka…

But the Olympic Committee, ever the buzzkill, came to stem the carnal tide, with the provision of, get this, cardboard beds. Because who could think of any other place or way to have sex? I mean, isn’t it exercise, or is it like being a boxer and not having sex before a game? I can’t wait to see the Olympic homemade sex tapes. And we will, because in days, the athletes went through ten-thousand condoms given out by the Olympics,.

Actually I can wait because I don’t know anyone’s names and by the time it comes out, I’ll be just finishing up my viewing of airline fantasy porn.

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