Stories
Page: 36
Stoneman Willie. If you have to have a nickname, how choice is “Stoneman Willie”? I would take this name for myself; unfortunately, it’s been taken for 128 years. But soon, it will be retired in a very strange story out of Reading, Pennsylvania. Stoneman Willie was a pickpocket with Irish roots. He was arrested doing […]
I want to hate this. I really do, from the tippy top of my wild, untamed hair all the way to the split toenail that never seemed to grow back right. I won’t tease you, get right to it. “Her” name is Nadine, and she is a robot powered by artificial intelligence (AI.) She’s loaded […]
Giraffe poop. Do you have anything to declare? If you’ve ever traveled abroad, you may see this is any of the many questions asked on your way to or from being a global citizen. If you’ve never been out of the country (me), you see this as a time to declare your allegiance to the […]
High Sheep and Storm Dnieal. Commentary by Liam Sweeny. I like to have fun with you at our little daily story times, but sometimes the difference between tears of laughter and tears of sadness depends on which side of the story you’re on. So let me get the bad out of the way. There […]
Momo the Monkey – Maybe AA? Commentary by Liam Sweeny. Indianapolis is wild, stop me if you live there. Apparently, you’re allowed to have “wild and dangerous” animals there, but they have to be registered. So maybe that AI thing where the big guy shares his pizza with an alligator before full-bore kicking him […]
Yelson and Niko Against the World – retold by Liam Sweeny. My heart is full this morning, and unless you are forged in granite, yours will be too. There is a man, Yelson, who has escaped the turmoil of Venezuela along with his friend and made a treacherous three-thousand-mile journey to the city of Matamoros, […]
Harry Dick Road – A Road You Just Have to Take Home. Commentary by Liam Sweeny. People steal signs. Crackheads steal signs that say ‘Bump,” for example (look it up, ye wholesome folk.) And people never tire of stealing funny street signs. But when your street sign is Harry Dick Road, highway robbery is […]
Plastic Vanilla. A scientist has created a synthetic vanilla from plastic. I for one will not use it to make my French toast. But that’s mostly because I haven’t finished my bottle of vanilla extract, and waste not, want not. Once I’m tapped, sign me up for plastic vanilla. Smokers, or former smokers, look kinda […]
Wally the Alligator. Man, these feel good stories, sometimes the idiot media picks a shitty angle and screws up our joy. But I will not have it. Wally the Emotional Support Alligator was NOT, I repeat, NOT barred from Phillies stadium. Yes, a man, Joie Henny, has an emotional support alligator named Walley. He’s […]
Phineas Gage – Liam Sweeny. Did you ever hear the story of Phineas Gage? It’s a good story, especially with Halloween coming ‘round the bend. Phineas Gage even sounds like a ghost name, but the is (was) not a ghost. Should he have been? Probably, but this is a miraculous tale of survival. It’s […]
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