Observations and Ramblings from a Cranky Old Guy – an Xperience Column by Jeff Spaulding

Observations and Ramblings from a Cranky Old Guy.

I’m a little different than most cranky old guys. Overall, I embrace technology. As a broadcaster, former broadcaster, check that; once a broadcaster always a broadcaster. That’s like once an asshole, well you get the point. As a broadcaster I absolutely HAD to keep up with tech in order to survive. The days of vinyl records, analog tape and payola, wait that’s still around, okay the first two, were relics of the past. I had to adapt to survive, or time to be a Wal Mart Greeter.

When I was hired at my last radio job, one of my co-workers was technically challenged. No names, but we call him The Gold Standard of Broadcast News. He couldn’t figure out how to right click or left click. Sure, you laugh, and we giggled but that was very tough on him. This man TODAY still has a FLIP PHONE! To be fair, he’s older than me, not sure how much since he keeps it a secret. That radio station is now 101 years old, and it’s not out of the ordinary to think he was on air on Day One.

Technology in 2023. Say what you will, but it is supposed to make our lives easier. But, what if one day, technology takes over? What if this turns out to be a digital version of “Planet of the Apes”? Experts say that can never happen, but to quote a James Bond movie, “Never Say Never Again”.

Two initials should scare the crap out of you potentially. A.I., Artificial Intelligence. The use of technology to, in essence, think for itself, create for itself, to be…human…for itself. I’ve seen and heard examples of AI that, while somewhat impressive, potentially makes things a little “2001: A Space Odyssey” like, and I can hear my microwave one day say to me, “I’m sorry Jeff, I’m afraid I can’t do that.”

Recently it was announced there was going to be a “final” new Beatles song released, using old tapes of John Lennon, similar to what happened with “Free as A Bird” and “Real Love” when the Anthology series came out. What freaked out fans was someone, okay blame McCartney, using the words “AI” in the press release. There was a lot of walk back after the fans revolted. Leave it to Ringo to set the record straight.

Speaking of The Fabs, some time back AI was used to have “Paul McCartney” sing the Beach Boy classic, “God Only Knows.” I admit it was a younger sounding Paul, but if I wasn’t paying attention, I could have thought this was the find of the ages.

There’s the fact that being an old fart I know better. There’s also the fact that my nearly 20-year-old grandson could hear that song and not know the difference.

Now let’s get down to brass tacks as far as my profession. In 2023, most voices on the radio (say outside of Morning Shows) potentially come from different markets around the country. This is no big secret. It’s quite possible that a radio station in the 518 has a “live and local” morning show, after that, you might hear people “pretending” to be from the 518, but who may all be based in, say, San Antonio, Texas. I do not “heart” that idea at all, but it’s not going to change at this point. Why? Because America doesn’t give a rat’s ass, what America wants now is “shut up and play the damn music.”

With that in mind, it was recently announced a radio station somewhere in West Bumhole has a new Mid-Day “Air Personality”, who is ENTIRELY based on AI. Now, not just no more local talent, but soon no more HUMAN talent.

Finally, I saw a story that there is a company who can, using AI, not only write, but voice and produce commercials. So that’s three jobs taken away by HAL. Well on the good side that will really end payola.

Don’t get me wrong, technology is a good thing, and it can be very helpful. But as a parting shot, do a search for the 1969 hit song “In the Year 2525” by Zager and Evans. You can’t hear it now without a shudder.

On the good side, keep in mind Tuesday is Soylent Green Day.

Be hearing you.