Danger of Loud Sex – The Weird Side of the Internet

Danger of Loud Sex – The Weird Side of the Internet – by Liam Sweeny.

I live in a loud neighborhood. Loud with people shouting, loud with dogs howling at each other. I have long ago had to adjust to it, because I sleep early, and thems the breaks when you knock off at nine. But sometimes, and I know this is true for you too, I want to go outside like I was Satan himself, start flipping over cars. Be like Crocodile Dundee with that hand trick, the dogs just go to sleep. And you know damn well every nasty possibility of action you’ve considered yourself when something or someone is keeping you up.

From Reddit, we find a man, a man of peace who simply wants peace at night as he tries to sleep, and a woman in her forties who missed the memo that partying every night with twenty-year-olds is as cringe as me using the word ‘cringe.’ In addition to loud parties, she has loud footsteps, loud phone calls, and, wait for it… loud sex, all in the wee hours of the night.

The last one, the loud sex, well, he did something about that. Because the man in this dalliance was cheating on his wife. Our mystery sleeper noticed a car seat in his car, and went on an epic sleuthing journey to find his wife’s social media account, put up a fake account, and leave a message about her hubby’s cheatin heart.

I mean, license plates, record searches, and everything. Never was a good night’s sleep more earned than that?

Now if we assume that the sleeper is a normal guy, how loud did that sex have to be? For Pete’s sake, play some Poison or something. Not everybody’s into audio porn at 2am. But I leave it up to you to judge whether or not our somnambulist was justified in going all ace detective of a 40-year-old teenager.

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