Pigeon Heist – The Weird Side of the Internet – Liam Sweeny.
Pigeons can be the bane of urban existence, nature’s very own, indiscriminate whitewasher. Granted, they look cool, I think they do, anyway, and they’re really just rogue doves. Imaging releasing pigeons at a wedding? Pigeons and dollar-store plates and glasses – guarantee that marriage will last, because it’s starting out thinner and poorer.
But pigeons – there’s the other kind too. Racing pigeons. High-end, triple-pedigree speed racers that have a long history in wartime, getting messages through the air and maybe saving battalions. And they still race them. Some of them, the best of then, can be worth seven figures. And there’s a cat and mouse game over the owners and thieves,
For starters, you have to keep them in cages outside. This gives thieves a chance to do recon with drones, and they have to be careful because the owners have lasers that hit the drones and turn on cameras. High tech battle here.
Thousands of pigeons are stolen every year, and it’s cruel and senseless. The cruelty is visited, not on the birds, but on the owners, who become very attacked to their birds. The senseless part is that, once stolen, their pedigrees are broken, and they were worthless. They end up in Eastern Bloc countries to be bred, but again, no pedigrees. So they’re kind of doing their own thing over there.
I don’t know if it’s lost on anyone that eventually the drones trying to steal the pigeons could just film a girl say something and immediately it would get to where it had to go. I have to honestly and wholeheartedly admit that I’m clueless why anyone would spend seven figures on a creature whose down-on-its-luck cousin is eating stale chips and whitewashing park benches. I guess people have to have their toys. FYI I had doves once, and they really are loud and filthy.