Dashing Through the Snow – The Weird Side of the Internet

Dashing Through the Snow – The Weird Side of the Internet – by Liam Sweeny.

Justice is served at times with cold mozzarella and hand sliced pepperoni. We talking about Rockstar Pizza, but moreover we’re talking about a Rockstar delivery driver, an unnamed hero from Avon, Indiana. Because they say that neither rain nor snow nor sleet nor hail can stop a postman, but in Avon, it can’t stop a meat lovers 12 cut either.

It was a snowstorm. Maybe an ice storm, or maybe both vying for top billing. Either way, the roads were icy as sh*t. So the guy parks his car a half mile from his drop site and he walks, pizza in hand. He passes Officer Richard Craig, who himself was out attending to an accident. On our guy went, to an “affluent” neighborhood, where he caught a $2 tip for a $40 order. Yes, terrible. And I say “affluent” because they could’ve easily afforded a ten spot, through to be fair, a lot of money runs through meth lab neighborhoods too. You know, honestly I bet meth labs tip awesome, like 20% plus 50 extra percent for the keeping shut of the mouth.

So Officer Craig found out, and cool thing is he’s got (for now) a TikTok and he’s internet famous. So he set up a GoFundMe for a little tip money, thinking he’s get the guy five bills for his trouble.

It raised thirty thousand dollars for our guy. You know, I really hope Rockstar Pizza is good pizza and not like all the other “non-New York” pizza. I hope the owners are transplants from Brooklyn, like one of them is Sal and he’s like “the” Sal and he’s retired just doing the warrior monk thing, cooking up Zen in a wood-fired oven.

I bet the tippers are like “bUt It WaS cOlD” If they chinced out on their microwave like they chinced out on the tip, maybe that would’ve mattered. It’s two minutes and thirty seconds on high, Martha.

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