The Mayo Bowl – The Weird Side of the Internet

Written by on February 5, 2025

The Mayo Bowl – The Weird Side of the Internet – by Liam Sweeny.

One of the best parts of your favorite football team winning is the time-honored tradition of dumping a five-gallon container of Gatorade on the head coach’s head. You know you love it. The moment of absolute surprise when the guy next to the coach catches the Gatorade coming and he backs of so slowly, so nonchalantly and we’re all just waiting for the big soak. It’s crazy that the coach whose team wins knows he’s going to see standing on the sidelines, cold, and soaked with that fake fruit punch smell, like you can smell the electrolytes. But such is the cost of victory.

So enter the Mayo Bowl. Okay, so you’ve been a reader for a while; you can see where this is going. The Mayo Bowl, at Bank of America Stadium. Minnesota’s Golden Gophers up against Virginia Tech’s Hokies. Gophers victorious. And in the end of the fourth quarter, when all hope of a Hokie’s turnaround were exhausted, Minnesota’s head coach was perhaps dreading, perhaps preparing himself for the spoils – a five-gallon bucket of mayonnaise dumped on his dome.

Do not think of this as a simple prank. There is an inordinate amount work that goes with alleyooping a giant container of America’s most controversial condiment. It takes twenty-five minutes to stir the mayo to get it into a consistency that lends itself to clogging bald heads and whistles and whitewashing playbooks. And there’s a line of people that try out to be a mayo-dumper, picked for their strength and dexterity in catching a football with mayo-click hands.

At the end of the dump, all the players of the winning team are given turkey sandwiches to dip on the coach. No; they’re not. This is a gross embellishment, but it’s possible that the coach inadvertently eats just a little bit of it.

 

 

More from Liam Sweeny…


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