Chimp War – The Weird Side of the Internet
By Staff on January 2, 2026
Chimp War – The Weird Side of the Internet – by Liam Sweeny.
War. Why do we do it? Why do we take up arms against our own kin, or the kin that are twenty-thousand miles distant? Either way, aren’t we all related? And yet we do, we go to war with each other. And if you’re a big enough country, you make smaller countries going to war for you, kinda like a bear presses a bunny into service when there’s no TP in the forest. And we fight each others and we kill each other and what, oh what, is the sense of it all?
What if there was a reason? Like a real, genuine reason, backed by science?
This isn’t so much science, but something scientists noticed among chimpanzees in the Kibale National Park in Uganda. They saw the chimps engage in a “civil war” of sorts for ten years before one group, the Ngogos, reined supreme. And once that happened, the group had a baby boom. They went from having fifteen new babies in three years to a postwar 37 new babies.
There are some obvious reasons. More territory to find food, less rivals to kill infants. But the amazing part is that humans, as close cousins, may also go to war to increase the population. So that means that war is in us, genetically, socially.
I don’t know if the idea of war being a natural part of the human condition is good or bad. It obviously sounds bad, but if we realize that our drives to war are part of our animal selves, then maybe we can control it like we control not mating on the sales floor of an auto dealership.
It would make sense though. War to spice it up in the bedroom? Ans chimps are pretty “see you – kill you.” We’re different. We fight with mergers and contracts. What if the free market was just a way to keep us from killing ourselves?
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